Being empowered isn't just about when we *do* - it's also about what we *don’t do*.

We need to ask ourselves on a consistent basis: what kind of mindsets are we engaging with? What lies are we giving power to? What wounds, self-sabotage modes, or unhealthy relationships are we always drawn back to?

Why do we need to ask these things? Because part of being empowered is being able to recognize what is hindering our Jesus-based empowerment - and taking action (including bringing it to Jesus).

Join me, friend, as I share three major blockers that we all need to look out for - and what we can do to overcome them.

Show Notes:

• Intro

  • Empowerment. That is our word for the day, friend. As I started outlining this episode, I decided to look up the definition of the word empowerment. What I found was:

    • (1) The “authority or power given to someone to do something.” The keywords there obviously being “authority” and “power” and “to do something.” So it’s not just about having power and authority - it’s about using it. 

    • (2) There was also: “the process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one's life and claiming one's rights.” Hello! This definition is especially jam-packed. We have strength; confidence; controlling one’s life (though as Christians we know we don’t have complete control - but we tend to overlook what control or part we do play sometimes); and claiming one’s rights. Such as one’s rights as a child of God and a follower of Jesus. 

  • Those definitions include some pretty powerful stuff. But here’s the thing - those are things that the Enemy doesn’t want us to have. He doesn’t want us to have strength or confidence. He doesn’t want us to have a sense of control - either by just having faith in God’s sovereignty or for us to exercise what control we do have. And, of course, he doesn’t want us to claim or act on any of the rights that we have through Jesus. He wants us to be the opposite.

  • Meanwhile, the fallen world also makes it a challenge to be or have those things. And so it can be really easy for us, whether we realize it or not, to be interacting with things - or giving ourselves over to things - that block our empowerment.

  • These things can keep us from seeing ourselves as Jesus sees us. They can cause us to give authority to people, ideas, or beliefs that distract or detract from our empowerment. They can cause us to stay stuck and therefore not open to where Jesus wants to take us. Not just when it comes to following Him - but what He wants to do inside of us. Who He wants us to become. 

  • And we can often get stuck in these things without realizing it. Meaning, we may not see or recognize them at first. Life is busy, right? Maybe they seem like something else at first and clarity comes later. Maybe the Enemy is intentionally trying to block us in his sneaky way. 

  • Or maybe it’s more about how we’re still stuck in old patterns that we developed during our abusive childhood, a toxic relationship, or a season of being in survivor mode. Often, we get so used to being stuck in certain ways that we don’t even register them as issues anymore. We’ve just come to accept them.

  • Whatever they are, and wherever they come from, the good news is that we can learn to become aware of them. Including - and especially - the ones that may not be as obvious. And a lot of them can be organized into three categories.

• 1) We can get stuck in the endless vortex of the unachievable

  • Now, when I say “unachievable” I’m not saying that we shouldn’t have goals or dreams or a desire to achieve things. What I am talking about is being stuck in a cycle of perfectionism.

  • Ladies, we all have been there with this one. Whether it comes from culture, friends or family, or our inner selves, we can find ourselves striving endlessly to: have the perfect body; the perfect style and beauty; to be the perfect girlfriend, fiancee, or wife; the perfect employee. The list goes on, right?

  • It might not even center around a particular role - but a certain situation. For whatever reason, we end up believing that this thing - whatever that is - needs to be perfect. Or maybe not even perfect, per se. But maybe it needs to be the ever-elusive better.

  • Now again, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t strive to be good employees, friends, girlfriends, what have you. The problem arises when we place way too much focus on a specific thing, where we’re focusing on a specific outcome or goal, to the detriment of ourselves and where Jesus actually wants us to focus. That thing can even become an idol. That pursuit of perfection can become an idol.

  • And if we believe that this thing is primary; that it requires so much of our energy and focus and attention...that means that there is less going to other things. Such as whatever Jesus actually wants us to be focusing on.

  • And if we’re devoting ourselves to this thing...are we being as devoted to Jesus? Chances are, we’re a bit of course. Or out of sync when it comes to Jesus.

  • Remember our definitions from the beginning of this episode? To be empowered is to have been given the power and authority to do something. The question is...are we doing the right things? Are we focusing on the things Jesus is calling us to do in this season? Or have we gotten off course?

  • The Enemy loves distraction, ladies. It’s one of his best and oldest tactics. And he knows what your weaknesses are. He knows that if you struggle with X, Y, and Z...and if he can somehow get you engaged with pursuing that thing versus what Jesus is calling you too...then you’re less empowered. You’re off track. And because of that, your impact is lessened. 

  • This is why we have to take stock on a consistent basis and be on the lookout for avenues that are meant to distract us. And we can get off track in a lot of different ways. An old mindset gets triggered. Maybe an old wound. Someone we think the world of - that maybe even carries authority or that we think of in an authoritative way - says something and we accept it without due diligence, or stopping to pray or process, and we get off course. It can occur in a variety of ways.

  • But it all comes down to the fact that one of the best ways to distract someone is to give them a “goal” that they’re laser focused on - but can’t ever achieve. Especially if it’s tied to a woman’s sense of value. How good of a partner or mother she believes she is. Her self-love or self-esteem. How she believes the world sees her. As women, too, we want to be beautiful - but as Jesus Maidens we need to remember that our beauty comes mainly from within. (And I’m preaching to myself on that last one. I’ve got pre-COVID weight, plus COVID weight, that I’m obsessed with shedding.)

  • So the first type of blocker to being empowered is being stuck in a vortex of the unachievable. 

• 2) We can get stuck in the world of limitations

  • Now, limitations can include several types. There are things like dealing with the glass ceiling and misogyny in the workplace. Those cultural limitations that we’re still dealing with.

  • But there’s also the limitations we place on ourselves as Daughters of the King. I’m talking about the things we choose to believe - not the things in society that try and hold us back.

  • Do you recall the second definition for empowerment? “The process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one's life and claiming one's rights.”

  • There are some bonus keywords there: “the process of becoming.” The up-level in strength and confidence - and claiming one’s rights - is a process. Empowerment is a constant process. It’s not something we simply acquire and then we’re like, “Done! I can cross that off my to-do list!”

  • Now, when we accept Christ, we enter into a relationship with the One who is the source of our empowerment. That relationship is always there - God doesn’t require us to go through a never-ending process to stay His. 

  • But becoming empowered is a life-long process. Because it coincides with our life-long walk with Jesus. The more He heals us; the more He teaches us about Himself and who we are created to be; the more are transformed in His image; the more we go where He leads...that’s how we’re empowered.

  • But, ladies. If we believe in or set limitations...we block that process. Again, whether it’s old mindsets. Religious beliefs that we were taught that aren’t Biblical. Lies the Enemy has whispered in our ear that we’re choosing to latch on to...whatever it is.

  • Limitation cannot create empowerment. Notice that I didn’t say boundaries. We all need healthy boundaries. And wisdom. And due diligence. And Godly counsel. But limitations cannot help to create empowerment.

  • And the Enemy in particular is so, so good at this. I’ll give you an example from my own life. So I’m a super introvert. And I’m also something called a HSP. It stands for “highly sensitive person”. It’s actually an accurate description for this genetic coding - but I also kinda wish they would’ve used a different name. Because when you say “sensitive,” people think emotional or hysterical, etc.

  • In reality, I - along with 20% of the human population - are hard wired in such a way that our brains take in and process way more information than the other 80%. We actually use parts of our brains that the other 80% doesn’t use. 

  • One of the effects of this is that I need a lot of quiet time to keep my equilibrium and my sanity. Which is quite a challenge to do when our culture at large is all about noise. Packing people into open offices or cubicles. TVs in every restaurant and office. Now we even have mini TVs blasting loudly at the gas pumps.

  • It’s really difficult to explain this to other people. I mean, I have such a low bandwidth for noise and interaction. I need a lot of quiet time. When I go someplace new, especially if it’s noisy, it’s hard for me to focus because my brain is literally taking in everything about that new environment. It’s just really hard to convey all this to people.

  • Well, one of the lies the Enemy planted in my head a long time ago, that I decided to believe and sustain, was that I was too different. Because of this - and because of things in my walk with Jesus. The lie was: I was always going to be alone; I was never going to fit in; no one was ever going to understand me. What was the point of even trying?

  • Now, I will caveat this by saying that it wasn’t until God moved me to the midwest that I found a true, open community. In the two other states that I lived, which were side-by-side, it was like banging your head against the wall. You could never get past the highly superficial, top-level stuff. 

  • That being said, even after God brought me to where I am now, He had to purposefully break down that lie. He had to show me that what I had been believing in was severely limiting me in my growth and in my walk.

  • That belief was nothing more than a self-imposed limitation. I was choosing to believe that I was not meant for any sort of community, or love, or acceptance. I might not have realized that at the time...but that’s the rotten fruit of that limitation I endeavored to sustain. 

  • Friend, I’m telling you, the Enemy gets in there. He wants you to feel isolated or alone. He wants you to believe that Jesus has it out for you; that the bottom is going to fall through. He wants you to believe that you’re not capable of anything different.

  • It’s all hogwash.

  • Do not let yourself be held back by limitations. Do not lose your empowerment to limitations that actually don’t exist. 

  • Alright, lastly, we can get blocked when...

• 3) We get stuck in the cycle of lies

  • This is also like limitations in the sense that it can be something we create for ourselves - or have built up ourselves - or the Enemy can also use this as his tool.

  • I mean, this goes all the way back to the Garden of Eden, right? Satan came to Eve with a lie - not an outright one; one that played on the truth. Basically saying: God didn’t say this - surely, what he really said was this. Because he wants to limit you. It’s another play or take on limitations, too - wrapped up with a lie.

  • Satan is really, really good at either taking a legit truth - or using something we believe is true - and skewing that with or into a lie. And he loves to plant these lies when we’re children - because we’re not old enough to understand or refute them. And they become foundational.

  • On my website, I share about my childhood. I had a horribly abusive dad, emotionally and mentally. My dad told me things all the time like how I was ugly; he called me string bean when I started getting tall in my teen years; he purposefully made me feel stupid. Things that I first took with me out into the world. Which is why I didn’t have self confidence or self-esteem. Even after I earned my B.S. in Graphics Technology I didn’t think I could hold down a full-time job.

  • Sometimes these things become obvious or evident to us. But sometimes they are so subtle or forgotten that we don’t realize they’re still there. And we’re making decisions based on this thing that needs to go; that has no place in our lives.

  • And, of course, not everything comes from our childhood. Someone can say something to us as an adult and it takes root. Or we read something. Or we somehow come to believe something about ourselves. Which isn’t true. It’s a lie that either we, or someone else, or Satan has concocted.

  • And just like limitations, lies can’t lead to empowerment. In fact, they lead to entrapment. Which is the exact opposite. 

  • So what can we do? How can we recognize the lies, limitations, or cycles of perfection?

    • One, know your weak spots. This might sound out-of-the-box, but hang tight with me for a second. Remember the latter part of the second definition of empowerment? “The process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one's life and claiming one's rights.”
      
      First, this is a process. Part of that process is our life-long journey with Jesus. But part of it is also taking stock and learning where our weak spots are. One, because that’s where Satan is going to try and trip you up. And he’s nothing if not relentless and predictable. So if feeling as if you don’t fit in anywhere, like in my own personal example, is a weak spot for you...two things are likely to happen.
      
      One, Satan will probably try to hit you there in some way. And, two, you yourself may be self-sabotaging. So you need to be on guard for when Satan sneaks in; and you need to be aware of your own mindsets and beliefs and the ways that you’re prone to stumble - and ask Jesus for help. In both seeing those weak spots and for help when you fall. And don’t feel bad when you do because no one is perfect. (Remember, we’re not chasing the unachievable.)   

    • Second, keep a record. Create a Google Doc, buy a hardback journal, whatever your pleasure is. You want to record your weak spots - mindsets, old wounds, your most powerful temptations, etc. And you also want to keep track of when Satan tries to throw you off course and when you self-sabotage or fall down. Why? Not to create a record of shame - but to notice patterns.
      
      Like I said earlier, Satan is relentless and predictable. In so much as he’ll keep trying to hit your greatest weak spots - and maybe even in similar ways. This past year, Jesus was bringing me back into relationship and alignment with Him after having drifted for a few years. Do you think Satan wanted that? Satan tried to throw me off course early on in that process by throwing something powerful in my path. Jesus, in His goodness, warned me. But I’ve also been through this enough times that, once I saw it for what it was, I was like, “Oh. Satan’s going after this again.”
      
      You’ll also notice patterns with yourself. You tend to over commit which makes you too busy for what Jesus was calling you to do. This old wound keeps coming back in these specific ways. This mindset that you didn’t realize you had is driving these decisions. 

    • Third, take it all to Jesus. Ask Him to reveal your weak spots. Ask Him to show you where Satan tends to hit you - and when. Ask Him to reveal wounds, mindsets, lies, or other things that are keeping you stuck and blocking you from growing as a Christian woman in general - and your empowerment specifically.
      
      I bring us back to our one definition for a final time: Empowerment is “the process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one's life and claiming one's rights.” We’re not in total control of our lives - but we do have some control. We can choose to not be controlled by things that have no place in our lives. We can choose to take control by seeking Jesus’s help - as well as being proactive in the ways I just talked about.
      
      And above all else, we need to “claim one’s rights.” As a child of God, as a Daughter of the King, we are of His kingdom. Which means all of these things - the lies, limitations, mirages of perfection...old wounds, mindsets, beliefs, fears, attacks of the Enemy...we don’t belong to any of those things. We’re not beholden to them. Our identity isn’t in them. We belong to Jesus. We belong to God. We’re of His kingdom.
      
      Our first definition of empowerment said: “authority or power given to someone to do something.” 
      
      Ladies, we have the authority and power from our God, our Jesus - and the first step in being empowered is not just using it for others...but recognizing what we have and using it for ourselves. We are empowered to be empowered. That’s the basis of a Jesus Empowered Maiden right there.