Our identity, and where it’s rooted, affects every aspect of our life.

The decisions we make, the activities and emotions we engage in, where we find our value - not to mention our relationship with Jesus.

So the question is: where is your identity rooted?

Is it truly in Christ? Or are you seeking your identity - and thus your value - from people and things of the world? (Maybe without even realizing it because, let's be real, the world constantly tells us women that our value should come from a billion other things than Jesus.)

Sister, grab your coffee, pumpkin spiced latte, or hot chocolate and join me as we dig into our identity as Christian women and lovers of Jesus!

Let's keep ourselves out of danger and on the right path!

Show Notes:

• Intro

  • Ladies, where we find our identity is going to affect a lot in our lives. It affects how we see ourselves; what we engage in physically and emotionally; how we react and feel about things; where we find our self-worth; how we make decisions. All of the things.

  • Our identity is at the very center of who we are - and affects pretty much everything in our lives.

  • And this very foundational thing - your identity - actually consists of numerous things. Merriam-Webster defines identity as: “the characteristics determining who or what a person or thing is.” 

  • “Characteristics” as in plural. Your name; where you were born; how you grew up; your belief system; what you’re “into”; etc.

  • All of these things together form your identity.

  • Now, that being said, there is a MAJOR difference in how identity works for those who know Jesus and the world at large. And if we’re not careful, we can find ourselves seeking our identity as if we don’t belong to Jesus.

  • What do I mean by this? Well, the gist of the issue is this ladies: if our identity is not rooted in Jesus, it will be rooted in things of this world. Which is not a good combination - being of Jesus but living for the world.

• Our identity is typically aligned with where we find our value

  • If I belong to Jesus, and I see my core identity as belonging to Jesus (and being a child of God) - then that is where I’m going to find my value. My value and self-worth comes from simply belonging to Christ. 

  • If, however, I don’t see my core identity as being in Christ...I’m going to naturally find it in other things. Because we are going to have an identity - there’s no getting around that. It’s something we naturally have and desire. Along with a sense of purpose and value.

  • So if we’re not rooting ourselves in Christ in that way, where else do we end up getting our identity?

  • One possibility is work. One aspect of that is performance - for example, how well we do at work. Right now, we’re still in the midst of the Great Resignation. And the agency where I work has lost several key people around the same time - and it’s going to take a while to fill those roles.

  • So for anyone remaining, especially if you’re someone who loves to excel, there’s this temptation right now to take on too much. To prove oneself. To say “yes” instead of “no.” To essentially lessen boundaries when you need to reinforce them. So one stays healthy and sane and still a productive employee.

  • Taking in these changes, I was really grateful that my identity is in Jesus - and not work. Because it means that I’m perfectly fine with keeping my boundaries. And I don’t feel this need or desire to further prove my worth and value (which has already been recognized) in ways that would be overextending myself. My job isn’t what I am; it’s what I do. Which brings me to my next point which is that -

  • Another aspect where we can look for our identity is in the job title itself. After all, that’s how we handle our identity in our American culture, right? Anytime we’re introduced to someone new, we first exchange names and the very next question is usually, “What do you do?” As if a person’s job is the most important aspect about who they are. We want to categorize people by what they do, not who they are.

  • Plus, our culture here in America is all about work. Which is partly why work is a huge part of our identity. Because we work all the time. And so it’s not uncommon for people to be all-consuming with their jobs to the point where they get laid off or have to make a career change...and suddenly, they have no idea who they are without the work. They have an identity crisis. They no longer feel valuable, because where they got their value is now gone. Poof! Just like that!

  • If your identity is rooted in Jesus, however, then your job is simply a job. You can love it or hate it. Be called to it or just getting through it for the short-term to pay the bills. You can be ridiculously good at it.

  • But it’s not who you are - it’s simply what you do. That’s the difference.

  • Right now, the title at my day job is UX Designer. But that’s not who I am. If you asked me who I am, I would reply with, “I’m a Daughter of the King” or “I’m a child of God.” Something along those lines. That’s who I am - and where I find my value.

  • Being a UX Designer is what I do. Even being the owner of Relate Escape, something God has called me to do, and something I have insane passion for, is not where I get my self-worth or identity. 

  • If it were, I would be focused on how many downloads my podcast episodes have; how many website views; who is saying what about my art; etc.

  • But those things I leave to Jesus. The results I leave to Jesus. One, because He’s the one that multiples the fishes and the loaves - I just show up with them. And, two, because Jesus calls us to work and exist from a place of rest - not working ourselves to exhaustion.

  • So one way we can gravitate to in order to find our identity is work.

  • Another is relationships - who we’re spending time with; focusing on pleasing; keeping happy. This can be a romantic partner; a boss; co-workers; family; clients or customers. Almost anyone, really.

  • And it can be about keeping someone happy, in maybe a way we shouldn’t be, or about being in a relationship because we don’t know who we are without one.

  • Usually this means we need someone else, that romantic interest, to tell us who we are - instead of resting in Jesus and who God created us to be. If we’ve been stuck in a place of finding our self-worth, or identity, through being in a relationship, it can be a hard cycle to break. Especially if it’s a result of something like an abusive childhood, etc.

  • Or maybe you feel as if you simply can’t handle life alone. Or be alone.

  • But this is why it can be imperative to give yourself time and space, and to lean into Jesus, after coming out of a toxic relationship, or an abusive childhood, or any season that requires you stop and lean into Jesus instead of running into another relationship.

  • If we’re seeking our identity in others - from a romantic interest to our colleagues at work to whoever it is - and not from Jesus, we’re going to make decisions that aren’t ultimately going to work in our best interest as a child of God. Which brings me to my second main point...

• Our identity often determines what decisions we make - particularly whether we follow Jesus or the world

  • If we’re getting our sense of worth, our identity, from things of the world...then we’re going to make decisions based on maintaining that sense of worth. 

  • Longer working hours. Dating when maybe we shouldn’t. Putting Jesus’ calling on hold because we’re too busy meeting other people’s demands and people pleasing. Saying yes to things that we shouldn’t be - relationships, activities, music choices (because we’ve been a fan of a band for a decade and it’s too much a part of who you are even though you should probably stop listening to them), etc.

  • Essentially, instead of allowing Jesus to feed us, we instead choose to feed this identity beast - whatever it may be. 

  • So we make decisions to keep feeding that beast. Maybe idols start springing up in our lives. And we get further from Jesus and where He wants us to be.

  • And it’s not just about ourselves, too. It’s also about others. Because...

• Our identity often determines what we proclaim and show to the world

  • Before Jesus Saved me, I was into Wicca. And I had bought the whole lie - straight from the Enemy - that Wicca wasn’t really bad. It was an integral part of my identity, so I had a sign on my car window and once, during a sharing exercise at a job, proudly shared that I was Wiccan as my interesting fact.

  • Whatever people identify with, or get their identity from, they tend to be passionate about it. And they will proclaim it in some form. T-shirts, bumper stickers, music or concert or TV choices, who they talk to on social media...right? Whatever that thing is, we’re all about it. We’re displaying it and proclaiming it in a myriad of blatant and subtle ways.

  • But we’re still proclaiming it. 

  • And if our identity is not firmly rooted in Christ, and in other things instead, then not only are we off track...but we’re showing things to the world that aren’t on track with Jesus.

  • Jesus is not about being a workaholic. We do good work, yes, but He will also see to our needs. 

  • Jesus is not about entering unhealthy relationships to find your value. Jesus literally died on the cross for us because He sees our real value.

  • Jesus is not about performance determining our value - in the same way the world does. Performance is not our identity. It’s who we are that’s our identity. And Jesus died so that our relationship with God, who is our Creator and source of who we are, could be whole. And we are forgiven for our mis-steps and mistakes and sins...not punished for them or seen as less of a child of God.

  • If our identity is not rooted in Jesus...we can’t fully proclaim Jesus to the world. Because we show Jesus to the world by being who we are in Jesus. Everyday. In walking out our daily lives. 

  • Jesus isn’t asking us to be perfect - and that’s not what I’m saying in this episode. Even though I’ve just unpacked a lot of things that may be feeling heavy to you right now. Or maybe it feels like a release. 

  • Either way, Jesus wants to meet you where you’re currently at - and help you with whatever you’re struggling with. Whatever is a blocker or whatever is holding you back from a deeply rooted identity in Jesus.

  • Wherever you may be getting your identity or sense of value right now...that person or thing that feels impossible to let go of...trust me, it can’t hold a handle to being more rooted in Jesus.

  • I mean, can that person or thing hold a candle to someone who came into this world with the purpose of dying on a cross for you? Knowing that you’re not perfect - and not expecting you to be. 

  • All He wants is to have a real, legit, deep relationship with you and help you be more Christlike; be the woman God created you to be; to be with you as you follow Him on the path He’s created just for you that, while not void of struggle or sorrow, is way better than anything anyone else can possibly offer you.

  • Let’s pray.