Operating out of a victim mentality limits us in several highly important, key areas of Christian growth.

While its existence is understandable, due to having endured hurtful relationships or experiences, it's not something that can exist permanently in our walk with God. In fact, it directly impedes the work He wants to do within us, for us, and through us.

Join me as I break down three key areas that a victim mentality sneakily impedes (which the Enemy loves) - and specific steps on how we can move forward.

Show Notes:

1. Intro - What is a Victim mindset?

• Definition - Wikipedia: Victim mentality is an acquired personality trait in which a person tends to recognize or consider themselves as a victim of the negative actions of others, and to behave as if this were the case in the face of contrary evidence of such circumstances.

• Definition: A victim mentality refers to a state of mind in which a person feels helpless and as though the world is against them.

• I’ve made progress in this area, but I still struggle with it to this day. So I completely understand how tough this one is. Especially when you’ve come from a lot of abusive or manipulative relationships, like I have. You just become so used to people wanting to take advantage of you, that this victim mentality becomes a way of life.

• But the truth is, as Daughters of the King, we’re not victims - nor are we helpless. I’m not saying that we stop using wisdom; there’s always going to be those that we need to be cautious of. But what we can’t do is see everyone that way. Including God Himself. We can’t be effective Daughters of the King if we’re living in fear and as victims. 
  

• (1) We’re not open to what God wants to give us

• When we operate in a victim mentality, we’re working under the assumption that the bottom can fall out from under us at any time. And so we make decisions such as never slowing down; always doing new things to earn money; not opening ourselves up to healthy community or relationships; or the paths God is opening for us; and generally not giving God the reins and trusting Him.

• As His Daughters, and stewards of the Kingdom, God wants to provide and give to us so not only are we blessed - but we can bless others. I’m not preaching prosperity theology. I’m simply saying that God is a loving God and He wants us to be part of His plan to help others.

• But when we hold onto things so tightly, and act from a place where we’re convinced that everyone is out to hurt us in some way, we’re not allowing the space to exist for God to work in the way He desires.
  

• (2) We won’t let God be in charge

  • Whether we realize it or not, when we’re acting from a victim mentality, we’re essentially shoving God to the sidelines while we make all the big calls. 

  • And that’s definitely not where we want or need to be. We can’t be effective Daughters of God, let alone grow the way God wants us to.

  • Ladies, we need to ask God to help us pry our hands off the wheel, get out of the driver’s seat, and let Him drive while we play with the radio and chug the Slurpie He treated us to at the 7-11. 

  • Like so many other things, it’s a process and part of the relationship that requires time to work on - with God’s help. But we need to start by recognizing it and asking Him to help to move on from it. (After all, God isn’t going to push in where He’s not wanted.) And that can include addressing the wounds or actions of others that brought about the mentality in the first place.

  • It’s not simple or easy - but it needs to happen.
    

• (3) We won’t become who God has created - and is calling us - to be

  • If we’re not open to what God wants to give, and we’re not letting Him lead us, then we can’t reach our potential as a Daughter of the King.

  • And, personally, I’ve come to realize that God has a higher bar for us, in a good way, that we would ever imagine or see for ourselves. But we can’t begin to grasp that vision if we’re instead clinging to old things that no longer have a place in our lives. 

  • 2 Corinthians 5:17 says: “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.” 

  • This doesn’t mean that everything about us changes instantly the moment we’re Saved; a lot of things are a process. Which means, with God’s help, we need to purposefully let go of the old things first, before God can create the new. 

  • And that includes a victim mentality. As a Daughter of the King, it simply has no place in our lives. 
    

• So what steps can you take?

  • 1) Just recognize that it exists. There’s no shame in it; there’s no reason to feel guilt. (God is not shame or guilt.) Recognizing it is simply the first step in moving forward.

  • 2) Ask God for help. Give it to Him and ask Him to work with you on letting that mentality go. Be open to what He shares with you. 

  • 3) Be more aware of your thought life. I still catch myself thinking thoughts, or reacting from, a victim mentality. But I’ve become aware enough that I realize it - which means I can then turn away from it. And also ask God for help if it’s something I’m particularly struggling with.

  • 4) Be okay with a long process. If you’re anything like me, I always assume or want things to just hop to the next level pretty quickly. Kind of a “let’s get ‘r done” mode. But that’s not very realistic - or loving towards ourselves. Something like a victim mentality comes from years of abuse or manipulation, and/or deep wounds, and those things leave deep repercussions. Which means, it will take time to heal and put in new habits and move away from it. And that’s completely okay.