Do you long to be plugged into a community of women who, like you, are actively working on becoming the Jesus empowered woman they are meant to be? And, as such, are experiencing similar challenges, struggles, and breakthroughs?

Do you thirst for the support, prayer, encouragement, and growth that could happen for one another?

I totally get that desire! I also understand the difficulty in finding that type of community. You need to be connected with the right women. Plus, the group must facilitate true relationships - which is easier said than done. But fear not! Because whether you want to join or start a group, this episode is for you!

I’m going to reveal 3 secrets to creating and sustaining this type of community - PLUS share an exciting special announcement that you don’t want to miss!

Show Notes:

• Intro

  • Sister, welcome to episode #50! Can you believe it? I’m not sure I can, to be honest. It seems like just yesterday I was launching the podcast. And now here it is about six months later, and 50 episodes later, and who knows what things will look like when it’s at 100 episodes. God is so good, and so faithful, and I couldn’t be doing this without Him.

  • Or the support of the people He’s brought into my life. In fact, just yesterday I had a call with someone where, within 10 minutes, it was (a) very clear that this was a God connection that was going to bear fruit in many ways, and (b) that God has some big plans for my business, Relate Escape. Plans that this new connection will be able to help me with.

  • God built us for community - and He works through community. We’re not meant to do life alone…which, I know from personal experience, can be a tough thing to hear when the Enemy - and maybe even other people - have worked hard to convince you otherwise. Or sometimes we’ve convinced ourselves.

  • You know, ideas like:

    • You’re too different; you’ll never fit in

    • No one will understand what you’re going through

    • You’re just going to get hurt

    • People just want to use or abuse you

    • You’re not valuable or worthy enough for community

    • Your thoughts, feelings, ideas, etc. don’t matter

  • The truth is, though, that we need a community of believers. And that can take multiple forms, right? There’s the church-wide community. There’s the general women’s community. There’s specific communities to help you with certain areas of your life. Community can take on different forms.

  • But, again from my own personal experience, I know that finding community can be difficult. Prior to moving to Ohio in 2020, my church experiences up to that point had been in religious churches that weren’t focused on Jesus. I shared a bit about those experiences and their challenges a few episodes ago. And one of them was not having a community that was aligned with how God was fashioning me as a new Christian - which was to be deeply rooted and empowered in Him. I was also married at the time, so moving wasn’t an option. 

  • So I know that some of my ladies out there are in a similar situation. 

  • For others, you may be in a very Jesus focused church…but you’re looking to launch or enhance a woman’s community. Or perhaps you want to build an online community of some sort. Could be for church or your business, etc. 

  • Regardless, for you it’s about finding ways to facilitate actual connection - something that, in our modern times, can be a real challenge. So you’re wondering, how do I accomplish that?

  • Sister, whether you want to find a community to plug into…or you want to launch or enhance a community…there are several things that need to be in place.

  • If you’re looking for a community that you can truly get support from, these things need to exist in that group. So you want to look for them, specifically.

  • If your goal is to build a group, then you need to implement these same things in order to be successful. Especially when it comes to building a community that actually thrives. And where women are making true connections and not just showing up.

  • So what are these mysterious things? Well, I’m going to tell you. And then, I’m going to reveal a super cool and amazing surprise just for you in celebration of today’s topic and the fact that this is my 50th episode! ‘Cause it’s all about you, my Jesus maidens!

  • Alright, so let’s dive in shall we? The first thing a community needs to have, whether in-person or online, is:

• 1) Less Programming and More Space for Organic Conversations and Connections

  • Now, I say “less programming” for a specific reason. Overall, the big “C” church has gotten really, really good at centering everything around a program. And when I say “program,” I mean a Bible study, workbook series, or something of the like.

  • Don’t get me wrong; there’s nothing wrong with expanding one’s knowledge or doing group studies. And God can (and does) certainly move through those things.

  • However, the problem is that when every group, whether in-person or online, is 100% focused on a program, that means there’s little or no time for actual connection.

  • This is especially true when the group happens to be in-person. The schedule tends to resemble something like: the members show up; there’s an opening prayer; the group goes through the part of the program for that week; there’s closing prayer; and then everyone goes home.

  • Typically, there is zero room scheduled for organic conversation. Meaning, time where the members can just talk freely with whomever about whatever. Organic conversation is how real connection is made. People ask each other questions; share their stories; find out what they have in common with others or how they can help each other. This is where the connection happens.

  • But it needs to be accounted for within the group. Space needs to be scheduled for this time. Whether it’s just a free half hour before or after the programming. Or a meal or snack time. (Food always helps with organic conversation! There’s something about eating a meal with others that facilitates conversation.) 

  • Women are seeking a group to find connection…which makes this point very, very pivotal. Because if your attendees can’t connect with others, you’re not serving them. They’re not getting what they need: community.

  • By the way, if in your case it’s an online group, giving room for organic conversation means ensuring that not every post is focused on the Bible study, or course, or whatever program type the group may be attached to. Or, if you’re a business, whatever you sell. You also need to clearly communicate that the group is about their needs, and provide prompts for discussion. To help them open up and share, etc. 

  • Again, it’s about the members first and foremost. Which brings me to my next point. The second thing a community needs to do, whether in-person or online, is: 

• 2) Serve the Needs of the Group Members Over Our Own Ideas or Goals for the Group

  • When we start a community, we have an idea of what it will be, right? And that can include an idea or calling from God - as well as our own vision a bit too. 

  • But whether you’re starting a group online or in-person, the main focus over everything else is to serve the women who are in it. It’s about them, not us or our vision.

  • Just because we have an idea of what a group could look like or be doesn’t mean that’s 100% aligned with what the members actually need. If God calls us to serve women, whether that’s women in general or a specific type of women, it’s about meeting their needs through God’s ultimate vision. It’s not about our vision.

  • And I say God’s “ultimate vision” because He doesn’t usually show us the entire vision up front, right? He might just tell us to start a group, not giving us more direction until we’ve obeyed that first step in faith. And then when He gives us additional direction, we need to be open to that - even if it doesn’t line up with what we envisioned.

  • It’s about what God’s doing (and thus what He tells us to do - since we’re partnering with Him) and keeping the needs of the group above our own ideas.

  • Too often, though, groups are launched either without any input or focus on Jesus (and what He wants to do). Or without allowing any change to the human-made plans or goals.

  • It’s always, always about what Jesus wants to do. And, along with that, it’s about what the needs of the group are. Because those two things are going to be aligned. If Jesus brings you a group of women who all ask for the same thing…it’s for a reason, right? That thing that they’re asking for might not be what you planned on focusing on or offering…but it’s what Jesus wants you to supply to help those women.

  • Now, practically speaking, this means several things:

    • The group leader (or leaders) should always be asking Jesus what He wants to do in the group. And this should be apparent in how the leaders communicate in the group; how open they are to change; to hearing the needs or feedback of the group members; etc.

    • The group leader (or leaders) should also be providing space for those organic conversations to take place. Because if there isn’t time and space for people to just talk…and to share what’s on their hearts and minds and what they’re struggling with…how will the leaders ever know what their needs are? If the group is hyper focused only on a program, and there’s no room for conversations outside of that, then there’s no room to learn anything? (You see how these go together?)

    • The group leader (or leaders) is willing to throw even the best laid plans out the window if the group and/or Jesus brings up a different need. And they don’t make the group members feel bad about it. Instead, they’re happy to lean into whatever Jesus wants to do to help the women in the group.

    • The group leader (or leaders) make it easy to facilitate conversation and for the group members to share about their day, their needs, their struggles, their breakthroughs, etc.

  • And this ties into my next point. The third thing a community needs to be, whether in-person or online, is: 

• 3) Attentive, Focused, and Organized

  • I know. That sounds like three items - not one. But they all go together.

  • Remember how I said a little bit ago that, in our modern world, making real connections can be difficult? It’s almost as if we’ve forgotten how in a lot of ways?

  • This is one of those ways. In a world where we’re busy (and secular culture says that busier = better); where we’re subject to a dozen types of notifications that can instantly divert our attention both at home and at work (such as app notifications, email notifications, IM’s and text messages, etc.); and the lessening of our attention span to mere seconds…   Yeah, I have to say we’ve learned to do the opposite of what facilitates real connection.

  • Things like giving someone our attention for as long as they need - minutes, an hour, several hours. Keeping our full attention on the other person - rather than allow ourselves to be distracted. Actually hearing everything that they’re saying rather than thinking about checking email or watching the next cat video. 

  • Culture has taught us how not to connect in so many ways. 

  • Now, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t have email, or apps, or text messaging. However…as with anything else, as Christians, we are to use Kingdom wisdom and be good stewards of our time, energy, resources (including technology) and focus. And we’re also called to love others, right?

  • But in order to love someone, we need to give them our full attention. We need to let them know that we’re really, truly present in the moment and listening to what they need to share.

  • And if we’re running a group, we also need to provide an organized space or avenue for the members to do that sharing. Preferably one also without distractions.

  • Because if women don’t feel heard…if they can tell that no one is truly listening. If they don’t have a readily accessible space to speak up or help encourage other women…that’s a huge blocker to building relationships and community. 

  • And if the group, especially if it's online, has distractions that can easily steal a member’s attention…that’s also a blocker.

  • These points that I’ve just hit…these are reasons why people are moving away from using Facebook groups. Just to help illustrate this in a real-life example.

  • One, whether you’re running the group or posting a need as a member, not everyone is going to see your content. The Facebook algorithm decides that. Two, Facebook’s goal is not to facilitate real connection like we’re talking about in this episode. It’s to keep you on the platform for as long as possible because that means it can sell more ads - which means it makes more money. So while you’re in a group, you find yourself tempted by alerts, and stories, and all these things that can steal your attention and also your time.

  • In a real life group, this looks like having a schedule with zero time for organic conversations. Or focusing on the program over the people. (Again, see how this all works together?)

  • Or not having an easy way for people to share email addresses and cell phone numbers (if they choose) in order to make communication and connection easier. It can also look like changing up the schedule at the last minute not because Jesus said to or because a need came up from the group, but because there’s this desire to do this “new and great” thing. It can also be the group leaders not making additional time to hear from the members concerning their needs or struggles - or how the group itself is or isn’t working for them.

  • Loving people means giving them our full attention; really, truly listening to them; and keeping things organized so that expectations are clear about how they can connect with each other - and the group leader.

  • Again, it’s about the people being served in the group first and foremost (after Jesus, of course).

  • Or should I say…it’s about you, my fair Jesus maiden!

• Special Announcement

  • So this brings me to my exciting announcement! Are you ready? Are you on the edge of your seat? I hope you are!

  • So my goal today with this episode was to equip you with wisdom in either launching or overseeing a group…or joining one. Because community is important.

  • But I also wanted to open up a community to you. So, in celebration of my 50th podcast episode, starting right now, you can join the official Relate Escape | Jesus Empowered Maiden online community! It’s totally free! Totally amazing! And completely and utterly all about you.

  • All those things I just talked about today? I want those for you. As a woman who is pursuing Jesus and your empowerment in Him, I want you to have a place to (a) connect with and find support from other women like yourself, and (b) connect with me.

  • Because my #1 goal is to support and serve you. I want to hear from you; I want to understand what your top needs are so I can provide resources to meet those needs; I want to be available in a direct scenario to answer questions; allow us to get to know each other better; and just see what insanely amazing things Jesus wants to do through our relationships with each other.

  • The Relate Escape | Jesus Empowered Maiden online community is:

    • All about you. It’s not about my vision for the community. I have no plans at all. I simply felt prompted to open the community and invite you all. It’s simply about coming together and connecting and seeing where Jesus takes us.

    • Free from programming and set-up for organic conversations. There is no agenda or study attached to the group. Our main priority is organic connection. Learning about each other, praying for each other, helping each other, etc.

    • Built in an organized and distraction-free manner. 

      • So first, instead of hosting the group on Facebook which, as we just went over, does not help build true connection (but basically focuses on distraction), it’s hosted on a platform called Slack. Some of you may be familiar with Slack from using it at work. If it’s new to you, don’t worry. It’s free and super simple to use. But I love it because there’s no distractions - which means we can all focus on each other. Which is where the focus needs to be, right? I know that I want to focus on all you lovely ladies without having to fight temptation against notifications and the like.

      • In addition, Slack does not run on an algorithm. So unlike Facebook, when you post something, everyone else in the group will see it. Which means those important needs you have? That thing you need prayer over? We’ll all see it. It will get the attention that it deserves.

      • Also, Slack is more organized. They have what’s called Channels which, if you’re new to Slack, you can think of them as a kind of sub-folders or feeds to organize posts. So right now, for example, I have a channel called “Ask Jenn” where you can ask me questions. Another channel is called “Prayer Requests.” Another one is called “Ask the Group” if you want to ask the entire group something - versus just a question aimed at me. … It allows you to instantly see what kinds of things we can share. And it’s organized so we’re not hunting through some gigantic feed looking for something (and then likely getting distracted in the process).

    • Sister, I want you to have an online community that does everything that it can to help you really, truly connect with other women - and myself. I want you to grow like crazy! 

    • Are you in? Are you ready to get in on this totally free, totally Jesus-centered, totally community-centered group? 

    • Then here’s what you need to do to get access - and it’s super simple! Go to relateescape.com/online-community, and take 30 seconds to send me your name and email address via the brief form on the page. That’s it! Once I have your name and email address, I will send you a direct invite to the group from Slack. Easy peasy!

    • Community, friend! It’s right there for the taking! Come join us! Come meet other women who are on the same journey. See how wanted you are. See how much you have in common. See how much value you have to give. Lean on and support each other. And get 1:1 communication with yours truly! Ask the questions you’ve had after that podcast episode or two! Post prayer requests! Let me know what your needs and thoughts are! I want to hear from you so I can better serve you. Because you matter.

    • Join the group today! Again, go to relateescape.com/online-community and take 30 seconds to request your personal invite! I can’t wait to meet you! Cheers, sister!