Being an empowered Christian woman doesn’t mean that you’re without desires or don’t long for something with all your heart.

In fact, those desires can tie into who you are (i.e. the woman God created you to be) or the calling He has for your life.

But *how* we approach the Lord with our request is important. Not just because we long for a certain outcome - but because it also reveals our heart posture and alignment. (Which is often more of a concern to God than our actual request!)

So today, I’m going to talk about one very common heart error when it comes to praying for something; one that’s especially common if you’ve come from a bad relationship or a very difficult season. Because if this isn’t corrected, sister, it can be a huge blocker to your progress. So let’s take a closer look and get this obstacle out of the way!

Show Notes:

• Intro

  • Greetings, sister. Today, I want to talk about the desires of your heart. I know that usually, when it comes to the topics regarding growing into an empowered Jesus maiden, I speak about things like building one’s confidence; finding your God-given calling; and learning how to break free from society’s boxes or other things keeping you captive - such as mindsets, etc.  

  • But being an empowered woman in Jesus isn’t just about the warrior type things. The bold, get ‘r done with confidence woman. It’s also about your longings and desires. Because you have them, right? You’re human. You’re a woman. You’re walking with God. You are going to have deep heart desires. And those deep heart desires are going to naturally result in prayers, asking for that request to be granted or that desire to be met.

  • But how we ask God is important. Our focus is typically laser-focused on the prayer request. God, however, is focused on more than that. It’s not that our prayers or requests aren’t important to Him. He just knows that there is more going on here that meets the eye. So He’s focused on not just the request; but how we’re asking. In other words, where our heart is and how we’re approaching Him. Because if something is amiss in that area…there’s a bigger issue than our request (as deep and heartfelt as it is). 

  • And if you’re coming out of a toxic or abusive relationship; or a very difficult season or circumstance; or if this desire runs so deep that it’s almost all-encompassing, there’s one common heart error that needs to be avoided. There’s a heart check that needs to happen to ensure that you’re not in that space.

  • What is that error? Oh, don’t worry. Things are going to get both clear and real here in a minute. But first, I want to read something from the Bible. Because instead of my usual bullet point method, I want to use a story from the Bible to illustrate how we need to approach God with our request - and then use that to talk about this specific way we shouldn’t. The way or error that we need to check for.

  • The story I’m going to focus on is in 1 Samuel. It’s the story of Hannah, the mother of Samuel. I’m going to read the Scripture, pausing now and then to note specific things, and then we’ll dig into our heart topic.     

• Hannah Pours Her Heart Out to God

  • 1-2 There once was a man who lived in Ramathaim. … He had two wives. The first was Hannah; the second was Peninnah. Peninnah had children; Hannah did not.

  • 3-7 Every year this man went from his hometown up to Shiloh to worship and offer a sacrifice to God-of-the-Angel-Armies. Eli and his two sons, Hophni and Phinehas, served as the priests of God there. When Elkanah sacrificed, he passed helpings from the sacrificial meal around to his wife Peninnah and all her children, but he always gave an especially generous helping to Hannah because he loved her so much, and because God had not given her children. But her rival wife taunted her cruelly, rubbing it in and never letting her forget that God had not given her children. This went on year after year. Every time she went to the sanctuary of God she could expect to be taunted. Hannah was reduced to tears and had no appetite.

  • 8 Her husband Elkanah said, “Oh, Hannah, why are you crying? Why aren’t you eating? And why are you so upset? Am I not of more worth to you than ten sons?”

  • 9-11 So Hannah ate. Then she pulled herself together, slipped away quietly, and entered the sanctuary. The priest Eli was on duty at the entrance to God’s Temple in the customary seat. Crushed in soul, Hannah prayed to God and cried and cried—inconsolably.

  • So I want to pause here for a brief moment so we can note some very important things. First, Hannah’s desire was for a child. And when we talk about deep desires…for a woman, a child can be one of the deepest she can have. We’ve all either experienced it or seen it in other women, right? There’s something about that longing for a baby that just runs so, so deep. Sometimes to the point where that desire overshadows everything else. 

  • Whether you currently have that desire, or have had it in the past, or have only seen it in the lives of others (because children aren't our calling)  isn’t my point though. My point is that here in this story, we have a woman with a very deep desire. One of the deepest a woman can have.

  • Secondly, not only does Hannah have this deep desire that hasn’t been met (at least not yet), but she’s being tormented by the other wife who did have children. So not only is Hannah reminded daily of what she doesn’t have…but the other wife is also purposefully being cruel. … That is a hard situation to be in. This is Hannah’s version of wanting a baby so deeply, and everywhere she goes, she runs into pregnant women, or new moms, or baby’s clothing stores, or is being invited to baby showers, etc.

  • And we can all associate with that type of situation whether our deepest desire is for a child or for something else. A husband. A thriving business. A new job. To find our calling. Etc.

  • So here Hannah is…wanting a child so much…being reminded daily through the presence of the other wife’s children of what she doesn’t have (even though she probably loves those kids at the same time), and suffering the constant, cruel remarks of the other wife.

  • It’s no wonder that verse 11 says: Crushed in soul, Hannah prayed to God and cried and cried—inconsolably.

  • She was inconsolable. Now, that’s a tough place to be in. Right? Where you want something so much it hurts…and you’re being tormented over it to boot…and it’s gone on long enough where you’re inconsolable.

  • Now let’s see what happens:   

  • 11 Then she made a vow: Oh, God-of-the-Angel-Armies, If you’ll take a good, hard look at my pain, If you’ll quit neglecting me and go into action for me, By giving me a son, I’ll give him completely, unreservedly to you. I’ll set him apart for a life of holy discipline.

  • 12-14 It so happened that as she continued in prayer before God, Eli was watching her closely. Hannah was praying in her heart, silently. Her lips moved, but no sound was heard. Eli jumped to the conclusion that she was drunk. He approached her and said, “You’re drunk! How long do you plan to keep this up? Sober up, woman!”

  • 15-16 Hannah said, “Oh no, sir—please! I’m a woman brokenhearted. I haven’t been drinking. Not a drop of wine or beer. The only thing I’ve been pouring out is my heart, pouring it out to God. Don’t for a minute think I’m a bad woman. It’s because I’m so desperately unhappy and in such pain that I’ve stayed here so long.”

  • 17 Eli answered her, “Go in peace. And may the God of Israel give you what you have asked of him.”

  • 18 “Think well of me—and pray for me!” she said, and went her way. Then she ate heartily, her face radiant.

  • 19 Up before dawn, they worshiped God and returned home to Ramah. Elkanah slept with Hannah, his wife, and God began making the necessary arrangements in response to what she had asked.

  • And then the Scripture goes on to say that Hannah became pregnant and bore a son which she named Samuel. And after Samuel was weaned, Hannah took him to Shiloh where she left him to be dedicated in God’s service. Just as she vowed. And afterward, God blessed her with more children.

  • Ok, I want to back-up here for just a moment. I’m not going to get into Eli and his assumption that she was drunk. What I want to point out here is how Hannah made her request to God.

  • Let’s go back and read the rest of verse 11 again: 11 Then she made a vow: Oh, God-of-the-Angel-Armies, If you’ll take a good, hard look at my pain, If you’ll quit neglecting me and go into action for me, By giving me a son, I’ll give him completely, unreservedly to you. I’ll set him apart for a life of holy discipline.

• So here’s the thing I want to drive home - which leads us back around to the common heart error you want to avoid.

  • When we look at that verse, Hannah didn’t just make a prayer; she made a vow. A promise. Which means she didn’t just ask for something; she also vowed to give something as well. 

  • And in this case, she was vowing to give back the very thing she was asking God for - a son. Which she did.

  • Which means, we can’t argue that she was trying to barter with God. She wasn’t trying to sway Him. She was merely asking and, with the same breath, promising to give her heart’s desire back over to God. 

  • That’s incredible, sister. You want to talk about heart posture…especially considering the inconsolable, heartsick state she was in. In verse 16, she says: I’m so desperately unhappy and in such pain.

  • Friend, here’s where we need to draw the line between Hannah’s situation and your own. Again, your desire doesn’t need to be for a baby. It can be something totally different. 

  • But the commonality is there, right? You have a deep desire. And you’re coming from (or are currently in) an abusive or toxic relationship or a very difficult season of life. Like Hannah, life has been tough in some way. You’ve endured. You’ve endured some more. You’ve lived through some horrible things.

  • But here’s what can happen, sister. We can look at that tough season or situation - however abusive, crazy, difficult, or unbearable - and think something like, “God has put me through this season. So if I have a desire for X, then He needs to come through. He needs to do this for me. He owes me.”

  • In other words, we come to Him from a place of entitlement. Because we’ve suffered. Long and hard.

  • That’s the error you need to avoid. That’s the thing you don’t want to go to God with…a sense of entitlement.

  • Because, trust me, I know this can happen. Usually, when we hear the word entitlement, we think of rich people who put on airs and assume the world is their oyster. But guess what?

  • Entitlement can also rear its ugly head in women like us who have endured really, really difficult seasons and situations and relationships. 

  • Not because we don’t love Jesus or endeavor to be separate from Him. Or our own lady lords instead of Him. But because it’s a heart posture, connected to a mindset, that we can slip into if we’re not careful.

  • It’s not easy living through difficult situations or seasons or relationships. It’s also not necessarily easy to have a deep desire or prayer.

  • And sometimes, those two things can end up being mixed in a place of entitlement that, not to play on words, we’re not entitled to. God is a very loving God; He loves giving gifts to His kids. And giving them desires that align with His desires. But He gives those gifts because He loves us - not because we’re entitled to anything. Because we’re not.

  • When Hannah made her vow to God, she did it with a heart posture that recognized who was sovereign. She wasn’t bargaining with God. She was essentially saying, “I ask that you recognize my pain and take action on my behalf. But as you are God, I will give my heart’s desire, the son I’m asking for, back to you for holy service.”

  • She could have come to God and said something like, “I’ve been praying for years and yet you haven’t answered me. Haven’t you seen everything that I’ve suffered? Haven’t I suffered enough? You gave me this desire for a child. Now you need to make it come to pass.”

  • …see the difference? 

  • And there’s a difference not just in how Hannah approached God (versus how she could have) - but also in what happened because of it.

  • First, Hannah’s son, Samuel, ended up being a leader and important figure for Israel. To the point where we have the books 1 Samuel and 2 Samuel in the Bible.

  • And second, God blessed Hannah with more children. So her story didn’t end with her giving up Samuel for service. God blessed her with more children.

  • If Hannah had approached the Lord from a place of entitlement, her story would be different. Would God have not given her Samuel or any children? Only He knows the answer to that question.

  • But I can say with some degree of certainty that Hannah’s heart posture would have affected a lot in her life. It would have affected her relationship with God. It would have affected her perspective and heart towards whatever blessings were in her life. It would have affected the blessings others could receive from her life. 

  • Because here’s the thing, ladies… How we approach prayer, and asking God for something, especially our deep desires, doesn’t affect just us. It affects our impact in the world.

  • Because of Hannah’s heart posture, not only was she blessed with multiple children, but her people, her nation, was blessed by Samuel. His life and story is being read thousands of years later by modern Christians.

  • That’s blessing. That’s impact.

  • That’s the kind of work God wants to do in, and with, and through us. Where we are transforming to become more Christ-like - where it’s more of Him and less of us - while also getting to impact the world.

  • Sister, I’m not discounting what you’re currently going through or have gone through in the past. Lord knows, I am very well acquainted with long-suffering.

  • But we can’t let ourselves slip into a place of entitlement. When we approach God, it has to be from a heart posture that recognizes who He is and who we aren’t. And we need to remember that our heart posture is just as - if not more - important than the actual request we’re bringing to God.

  • God cares about your desires; He does. He just cares about you - all of you - more than you can ever imagine.

  • Cheers, sister.