Being an empowered Christian woman means making decisions based on your identity in God first and foremost.

In other words, your choices need to be grounded in WHO you are (and WHO you belong to) over WHAT you’ve experienced.

But if that’s the case, what do you do with that deep wound, victim mindset, or survivor mentality that tends to dictate your decision-making instead?

Sister, Jesus and I got you! Starting with 4 highly effective tips to help transform your approach to every life decision!

Show Notes:

• Intro

  • Alright, friend! Are you ready to talk about decision-making? I know when you woke up this morning, you said to yourself, “You know what I’m dying to learn about today? I’m dying to learn how to improve my decision making! It sounds like such a sexy and stimulating topic!” 

  • Obviously, I’m joking. I don’t know about you, but my first thoughts when I wake up center around wanting more sleep and wishing someone else was around to take my Greyhound outside so I could stay in bed.

  • But all joking aside, this is an important topic because life is full of choices, right? Big, small, life-altering, inconsequential…we decide a lot on a daily basis. And obviously, some choices are more important than others. Some choices affect our lives more than others. 

  • And I don’t say that to add extra, unnecessary weight to our decision making. This isn’t about making perfect decisions…no one is capable of that. (Besides, what is quote/unquote perfect anyway?) 

  • No, we want to make empowering decisions. We want to make choices that align with our growth in Jesus versus staying where we are. We want to make choices that lead to positively impacting the world and God’s Kingdom. We want to make choices that facilitate change in us so God can work through us to help others.

  • And one of the reasons this topic of decision-making is so important is because choice is a fundamental aspect of empowerment. 

  • Firstly, the ability to choose is in and of itself is empowering, right? I can choose to listen to a nay-sayer with a loud voice or I can choose to pursue God’s calling anyway. I can choose to live the remainder of my life with a victim mindset or I can choose to allow Jesus to work that out of me. I can choose to not share my story in this particular moment with this particular person that Jesus has placed before me - or I can choose to be vulnerable and make a difference in someone’s life. The ability to choose is powerful.

  • Secondly, what we choose can be especially empowering. But it depends on what we choose when faced with a decision. Having a choice means that there are at least two options. And sometimes, those options can be very different. For example, one can align with where Jesus is wanting to take us, or the work He wants to do in us, while the other can keep us where we are. So we want to choose in a way that aligns with impact and progress. Again, choice is powerful. 

  • And this is why in order to live an empowering life in Jesus…to be a Jesus empowered maiden…we have to be aware of the choices we’re making and why we’re making them.

  • Because if we’re making decisions based on things other than our identity as a Daughter of God and a follower of Jesus…and everything that that means…then we’re not making the most empowering or transformative choices possible. 

  • Instead, other things end up calling the shots in our lives. Things like old wounds, a victim mentality, a survivor mindset, not having learned to set healthy boundaries, fear … just to name a few. 

  • But these things - especially the ones stemming from our pasts - don’t have a place in our lives anymore. 

  • And please know that I’m not trivializing our past experiences when I say that. I’m not saying that the hurtful, abusive, tragic, or very challenging experiences that we’ve gone through are easy or simple to move on from.  

  • What I am saying, though, is that the things that we’re carrying or struggling with because of those experiences are not more powerful than Jesus. Nor do they get to call the shots. 

  • So as we’re progressing on this journey of growing and transforming into a Jesus empowered woman, these things need to fully lose their hold on us - which (in addition to the power of God) requires some practical work on our end…including how we approach decisions. 

  • Because at the end of the day, your real identity and power comes from God. It comes from Jesus. It comes from who you belong to…not what’s been done to you or what you’ve lived through. (And again, I’m not trivializing our experiences.)

  • But it’s time to work on breaking the chains that are negatively affecting your decision-making - and thus your life. And I’m going to help you do that today by arming you with four practical tips. 

  • You can apply these four tips to any decision…big or small. Size doesn’t matter. These tips are going to empower you by giving you awareness and the ability to adjust (or retrain how you approach things). You’ll see what I mean here in a moment.

  • You can use these tips together, in the order that I’m about to present them, or separately depending on what makes sense for a given situation. 

  • Use them however works best for you. But I highly, highly recommend using them. Regularly. Because the more you apply this kind of action, the more progress you’re going to make. Your old life will have less of a foothold and you’ll start to see empowered results.

  • So let’s go through these briefly and succinctly, one by one. When you’re facing an important decision, first…. 

• 1) Take some time to assess and reflect on the situation before making a decision.

  • In other words, whenever possible, stop and pause. And every situation is going to be different. Sometimes you might be able to pause and think things through over a few days; other times, it might be a few hours. The point here isn’t the length of time but that there is a pause.

  • I bring this up frequently because we live in a culture that has trained us to immediately react to things. We have a fast-paced culture overall, reactive work environments, apps that are constantly wanting our attention with notifications…and all of this is on top of a lot of women being overworked and overwhelmed.

  • All that to say, we can unintentionally find ourselves operating on an autopilot setting where we immediately react to things. A situation comes up, or Jesus brings something to our attention, and our knee-jerk reaction is to simply make a choice without pausing to think about it. Which can sometimes lead to making a less than optimal (or empowering) choice because we’ve missed that important time of assessment and reflection. 

  • We also need to remember that Satan loves busyness; it’s one of his favorite distractions or cycles to get us into. Because busyness keeps us from certain key actions - such as pausing to assess the situation and how we’re initially reacting; taking it to Jesus in prayer; seeking wisdom and counsel from others, etc.

  • And again, we can (unbeknownst to ourselves) find ourselves in these very reactionary cycles where how we make decisions is a habit. 

  • Which means, in order to create new habits, we have to start by basically catching ourselves in the act, making a point to pause, and then course correcting. And as we do this repeatedly over time, we end up building new patterns.

  • So after you’ve made a point of pausing, again for however long that is, you want to secondly….

• 2) Examine your thoughts, feelings, and initial reactions regarding the decision - and the choices before you.

  • The first thing you want to do after pausing is to assess. To become aware of what’s going on internally. Awareness is the first step in implementing change. Once you’re aware of the factors that are affecting your decisions - meaning your thoughts, feelings, mindsets, habits, etc. - you can then purposefully adjust.

  • For example, let’s say when you pause to assess a specific situation you realize that an old money mindset is affecting how you’re looking at this decision. 

  • Or maybe Jesus is opening up an amazing opportunity, but your initial reaction is to say “no” because you’re having a gut reaction based on a deep wound that’s related to this situation. So your initial reaction is to refuse, even though Jesus has something amazing for you - and He wants to help heal you in the process. 

  • If, however, you pause and assess…think over it, analyze what you’re thinking and feeling, pray about it, ask others to pray for you, seek Godly counsel, etc….this is where transformation begins. Because you’re effectively putting a line in the sand and saying that old or unhealthy things are no longer going to affect your decisions. They’re no longer going to get an automatic say in your life and walk with Jesus.

  • And as you do this repeatedly, you’ll notice patterns. You’ll notice that the old money worries have been influencing your decisions more than you realized. Or that a particular survivor mentality tends to crop up in certain kinds of situations. 

  • And as these patterns emerge, that arms you even more awareness and more power to transform in this area. Jesus loves to break us free from old patterns that are holding us back from our growth in Him. So once you’ve discovered a pattern, you can really partner with Him to break it.

  • Now, after you’ve paused to assess and have identified the thoughts, feelings, mindsets, wounds, etc. that are affecting your perspective, the next step is to…. 

• 3) Remind yourself of your identity - of who you truly are.

  • You’re the Daughter of the Most High God. His Princess. You’re a follower of Jesus. This is your identity and where your sense of value and worth - and your power - comes from.

  • When we’ve uncovered something that’s holding us back - that has no place in our lives - we need to remind ourselves who we belong to - and all that that means. And along with that, we need to remember that what we’re struggling with has no real power over us. Not to mention that God is right by our side.

  • No decision that we face in life is a surprise to God. God also wants us to embrace the power and freedom in who He is and what He’s given us through Jesus dying on the cross.

  • It doesn’t matter how deep the wound is, or how many years we’ve been operating with a certain mindset, or how many people may be opposing what we know God is calling us to do…God has our backs. He can free us from anything that’s been holding us captive. He can heal anything that needs healing. He can transform us from who we were yesterday to who we can be today.

  • So after you’ve identified what’s affecting your decisions that shouldn’t be…remind yourself of who you are and who you belong to…and everything that means. Because that’s a huge and vital part of your transformation.

  •  Because then you can….

• 4) Make a decision and move forward in power.

  • Even if you aren’t 100% sure that you’re choosing the quote/unquote “right choice,” move forward anyway.

  • Do your due diligence. Pause; assess; remind yourself of your identity; pray; seek Godly counsel; etc.

  • If God has given you clear direction, awesome! Move forward boldly.

  • If you haven’t gotten clear direction from God, or still have worries despite His direction, also move forward anyway.

  • Because here’s the thing…action and faith are essential to transformation. Which is why Satan is going to do his best to keep you from moving forward in this step. And why all the fears and doubts and things you’re working on breaking free from are going to try to dig their claws in here too.

  • Perfection is also likely to appear. What if you make the quote/unquote “wrong” choice? What if you’re not hearing God correctly? etc.

  • Listen, perfectionism is not the goal. Transformation and growth in Jesus is. Sometimes He has a specific path He wants us to take and He makes that clear; sometimes He doesn’t and the choice is ours. But regardless, we still have to move forward.     

  • And we can move forward with power. We’re empowered by being God’s Daughter. We’re empowered by belonging to Jesus. We’re empowered by the presence of the Holy Spirit who is God in us. We’re empowered by the knowledge that God loves us unconditionally and has our best interests at heart. 

  • If the decision we want to make isn’t a good one for some reason beyond our comprehension…if He knows something we don’t…then we can trust that He’ll keep us from that path. 

  • Again, it comes back to our identity. Who we ARE. Who we BELONG TO and His character. His promises. His desire to see us freed from the things holding us back and embrace our identity and our Jesus-based empowerment in new ways.

• Wrap-up

  • Sister, I hope this episode has helped you to see that your decision-making process can change. That the things from your past, or even your recent present, don’t have to continue shaping your choices and your life.

  • Through your empowerment in Jesus…through your true identity…and some practical application of the tips I’ve shared today…you can begin to completely transform how you approach life’s choices. Which, in turn, is going to transform you and your life in amazing ways. Cheers!