Do you feel like God-sized dreams aren’t for you? That they’re meant for women who are stronger, bolder, and more confident and “put together”?
Do you believe that you’re not “spiritual enough” - or that you need to up-level your relationship with Jesus - before you can even dare to dream?
Sister, I totally get where you’re coming from. But the truth is that God has a list of dreams especially for you! And the only thing getting in the way? This underlying belief that you’re not good enough.
Join me as I break down 3 steps to actively countering that belief so that you can begin to dream big alongside God!
Show Notes:
Intro
Sometimes, I think dreaming with God is presented as this really simple thing. Meaning, that it’s intuitive, and easy, and everyone does it. But personally, I know that dreaming - just in general - is not always intuitive. Not for everyone.
Even now, about two decades after coming to Christ, dreaming is still something that He’s still teaching me. (In fact, Jesus has made it a focus for me this year.)
Because when you come from an abusive childhood and marriage, as I do, dreaming is not something you inherently do. Right? You’re in survival mode. Dreaming - at least in the way we’re talking about it today - isn’t usually aligned with a survivor mentality. Those are opposing concepts.
In fact, if anything, you learn not to dream because the abusive or manipulative people in your life will often squash those dreams on purpose. It’s part of how they keep your spirits low and control you. So after a while, it just feels safer not to dream.
And then we come to the idea of dreaming with God in particular, that can be difficult for a few reasons. One, maybe it hasn’t been something you’ve been taught or exposed to - so the idea seems a bit foreign. Or, two, maybe you don’t feel worthy to dream with Him. Believing that you don’t meet a certain spiritual standard for that to happen.
Or, three, maybe you believe that you’re not enough as a person. You look around at the kind of women you’d like to be - the ones who seem confident, successful, and put together … who seem to be joyfully living out their dreams - and believe that they have something you don’t. And so, because you have this perceived deficit, you think that you’ll never live out big dreams. Or that God would want to live out dreams with you. You simply believe that big, God-sized dreams aren’t for you. Only other people. (Like the women you wish you were like.)
None of these things are true, though. None of them. God has specific dreams for you. Big dreams. Not because God wants to scare you, or take you out of your comfort zone in an unhealthy way, or put a ton of pressure on you. Because God loves us so much, that He wants more of us than we can ever think possible.
I’ve said this on other episodes. But as humans, we tend to have a very narrow view on things. Not just because, as humans, there are natural limitations to what we see compared to what God sees. But because we’re really good at zeroing in on our present situation - instead of lifting our eyes to Jesus (who is Lord over all situations). And can transform us into someone we never thought we could possibly be.
God has big dreams for us because He loves us and wants more for us than where we are now - and, being God, He can make it happen. He’s not placing dreams in our hearts to be cruel. He’s not drawing us into learning how to dream with Him so we’ll be crushed by disappointment when He doesn’t come through. Or when He says, “Oh, sorry. You’re not spiritual enough. Or confident enough.”
God gives us God-sized dreams and then gets us there. So any perceived deficit that we have is just that - our perspective. It’s not reality.
So if this is where you are, how can you overcome it (with God’s help)? How can you start to change your mindsets, perceptions, and beliefs around dreaming with God. And how it’s not meant for you - because it is.
Step 1 - First, you need to recognize that this underlying belief that you have to be “good enough” - or meet a certain standard - to dream with God isn’t Biblical. It’s coming from other issues.
And that is the underlying issue. Just think back to the specific reasons we went over a few minutes ago. All of those mindsets and beliefs come down to one giant lie: that you’re “good enough.”
That’s the real issue here. It’s not God. God wants you to dream with Him. God loves doing big, amazing things. That’s how He shows the world His glory and His character - while loving His kids at the same time. Plus, He’s always going to meet you where you are. He doesn’t place unattainable challenges before you, essentially setting you up to fail.
And it’s not the other people that you see as being more “put together” or prepared to dream. This is where the danger of comparison comes into play. I won’t go into that in-depth here. (I have episodes specifically on that topic that you can listen to.) This is about you and God’s specific and unique dreams for you.
So the question is: Why do you feel as if you’re not worthy? Or not enough?
Is it because you’re still healing and rebuilding your life after a toxic relationship? Is it because someone once said something to you that wasn’t true - but you took it to heart and have believed it ever since?
You don’t have to pinpoint the exact issues this second. In fact, I wouldn’t expect you to. Something might come to mind. But this is when you take this to Jesus, lay the overall issue at His feet, and ask for His help in providing clarity and healing. Ask Him to show you what’s causing this belief - and give it over to Him so that you can be transformed and move forward.
But you start by recognizing the real issue.
Step 2 - You need to recognize that the only prerequisite for dreaming with God is following Him.
We’ve already touched on this truth a little bit. But dreaming with God or, to say it another way, having God-sized dreams is first and foremost about Him.
Our eyes need to be on Him. Dreaming, especially God’s way, is about stepping out in faith and trusting that this thing that, at the moment, seems totally impossible from a human perspective, is going to come to fruition. Because we’re trusting God. We’re trusting His character. We’re standing on His promises and His Word.
If you think about the people included in the Bible…people that God chose and did amazing things through…not once did God say, “I’m choosing you because you have it all together. So this will be a piece of cake for me. Your spiritual walk is perfection. You’re so confident. You’re so bold. Your business is a success. Your wardrobe and make-up are perfect. I can just give you your orders and we can do this thing!”
That’s not how it went with anyone, right? God is not interested in perfection. He doesn’t require us to have it all together. One, it’s not His character. (Because, let’s face it, that would not be easy or feel very fair.) And two, because God shows Himself through imperfect people. And part of that is placing a calling or dream on someone and then transforming them, and helping them grow, and equipping them for it. But even then, it’s not about God making the person perfect.
Whatever dreams God has for you, He’ll prepare and equip you for them. He’ll meet you where you are now and work it out. Whether that means that He does internal work - such as healing wounds or changing mindsets. Or external work - such as putting the right people and resources into place.
Dreaming with God isn’t about trying to reach some perceived standard…it’s about keeping your eyes on God, trusting Him, and allowing Him to transform you as you follow Him.
Step 3 - You need to give yourself permission to dream.
Now, why do I say that you need to give yourself permission? I say this because, if you happen to come from a background like mine where you essentially taught yourself not to dream, or you stopped wishing and dreaming because toxic people in your life used that as a way to hurt you…then you need to give yourself permission to dream.
Because for a long time, you’ve learned to squelch this desire to dream. That has become your norm. That has become your safe place. Everyone else dreams…but you don’t dare to dream. It’s safer not to dream.
So to help flip that switch, as it were, you need to do two things.
One, you need to stop looking backwards and, instead, keep your eyes fixed forward on Jesus.
And, two, you need to give yourself permission to dream. And I don’t mean just say it to yourself once. This needs to be a declaration. And it takes some practice.
I know this may seem like a big, scary ask. Even if you don’t have a background of toxic relationships, and you’ve simply never dreamed before, this can feel daunting.
And that’s okay. This is a big shift. But you’re not alone. Jesus is right there with you. And you can also start small.
As humans, we tend to think we have to go from one extreme place to another almost overnight. But like the saying goes, “Rome wasn't built in a day.” And God doesn’t expect you to go from not dreaming at all to dreaming all the livelong day within 24 hours.
So I want you to do two things. First, make a declaration of giving yourself permission to dream. Whatever that looks like for you. Write it in your daily devotional everyday. Put a Post-It on your mirror. Start a list of dreams you feel God has already put on your heart. Or make a list of dreams you’ve had a long time, but have remained buried.
The big idea is to keep this permission to yourself in front of you on a daily basis. If it’s prominent, you’re less likely to forget about it. (That you want to make progress in this area.) And the more you have it in front of you, the more it will go from an idea or desire into reality. And again, it doesn’t have to be anything large or time-consuming. Prominence and daily exposure or repetition is what we’re going for here.
Second, start asking Jesus to help you discover your God-given dreams. You can also ask about dreams long buried or forgotten. Things you maybe wanted as a child, but then got left behind as you grew up or learned to stop dreaming for your own safety.
At this point, you don’t need to pray over walking into those dreams. Just ask God to help you start to dream. Again, small steps.
The idea is to change your behavior - going from not dreaming to dreaming - and help make it a normal part of your life, and relationship with God, over time.
Wrap-up
Friend, I really, truly pray that this episode has helped you to see that God has dreams for you…and that those dreams aren’t dependent on standards or a certain level of growth.
You are more than enough right here, right now, to dream with God. And even if you’re still learning to believe that…just keep your eyes fixed on Him. If there’s one thing that I’ve learned in my walk with Jesus, it’s that keeping your eyes fixed on Him, and following where He goes, avoids a multitude of endless circles and being stuck forever in the wrong mindsets.
Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus. Apply the three steps that I’ve covered today. And before you know it, you’ll look back and realize that you’ve gone from a woman who never thought big dreams were for her…to a woman who’s a shining example of what God can do through a woman after His own heart.