Do you struggle with sharing your thoughts, opinions, or expertise? Is it a challenge to speak up - let alone with confidence?
Is the fear of judgment or retribution keeping you silent?
Sister, I’ve personally been there. I also know what it’s like to lose your voice, and sense of self, during a tough season or a toxic relationship.
But I’m here to tell you that *is possible* to find your voice and learn how to consistently speak up with confidence and boldness. Like everything else, it starts with a firm foundation in our Godly identity along with some practical, tactical solutions - which is exactly what I’m going to equip you with in this episode!
Show Notes:
Intro
Well hello there, friend! I must say, I’m happy to be back in the podcast saddle again. If you’ve been wondering why I haven’t released any episodes in the past few weeks, it’s because I suddenly came down with COVID. And it was all I could do to eat, and take out the dog, and do the basics of life for a while. So unfortunately, I had to put new episodes on hold for a while.
But, I’m happy to report that I am finally feeling much better. No more endless fatigue or coughing or annoying COVID headache. And I can get back to the things I enjoy - such as doing podcast episodes!
I do want to let you know, though, as a quick housekeeping item, that moving forward I will only be releasing episodes on Mondays. Not every Monday and Thursday as before.
The change isn’t a result of recovering from COVID. It’s actually a result of what God is currently teaching me - which is to better balance my load.
For example, it’s a common practice to have several podcast episodes pre-scheduled for release as a buffer in case something happens - like getting sick. And while I’ve been striving to create that for months, I’ve never gotten there because it was all I could do to release the two episodes per week. Recently, I’ve found myself routinely recording an episode the night before it’s set to release.
That’s not a healthy or wise place to be. And my podcast isn’t the only area where I’ve been pushing myself too hard or towards unrealistic goals that I’ve created in my own mind. Which is why God has made a point of stepping in lately to help me see that things are out of balance. And that everything isn’t up to me.
The world’s way says that we have to work ourselves to the bone in order for there to be big results. But God calls us to operate from a place of rest and to trust in Him for the results. He takes our meager loaves and fishes and feeds 5,000 people.
So moving forward, I’m going to release one amazing episode per week and trust God for the results. I’ll be in a healthier place - which is good for me, but is also good for you because it means I can serve you better.
So, to bring this back around to today’s topic, I’m choosing to listen to God’s voice - but I’m also exercising my own voice (to myself) to ensure that I do what’s needed. I’m being firm with myself - again using my voice - so that I can better impact women with my voice. My voice - and your voice too - has great power internally and externally.
Because your voice matters, right? What you have to say matters. God has given you a voice - and it’s meant to be used. No matter what culture has told you. Or what others have told you. Or what you’ve come to believe about yourself. You have great value; you also have experience, expertise, and wisdom that other people need.
But as women, it’s common for our voice to get lost or diminished or even outright attacked. I know this from personal experience. When you’re in a toxic or abusive relationship, for example, the other person wants you to feel powerless. So they focus on quieting your voice. Whether that’s using manipulation to make you unsure of yourself to a point where you are afraid to speak up. Or making it unsafe when you speak up. Or some other method.
There are numerous seasons or situations that can cause us, in various ways, to lose our voice. To lose that sense of who we are - what we believe, what we stand for, what we desire. And to lose the confidence or boldness to speak up with whatever it is we have to say.
If one of these situations happened during childhood, then we can grow up without knowing who we are or how to speak up at all. In that scenario, it’s a case of discovering our voice for the first time versus reclaiming one that’s been lost.
But I want to encourage you that, no matter which camp you fall into, you can grow into the woman you want to be. That God created you to be. I know because I’ve taken that journey, and I want the same for you. Which is why I’m going to help spur you on by sharing 4 critical steps.
1) First and foremost, remember that your identity, value, and worth comes from God
This is highly critical as it’s the foundation where you begin to find your voice and your strength to speak up.
So many things in culture - and in life - can send the message that what we have to say doesn’t matter. That what we have to say doesn’t have value. Which, in turn, sends the message that we don’t have value. Which isn’t true.
Despite some people’s attempts to twist certain Biblical Scriptures to say otherwise, there is nothing in the Bible that says that women should be silent. Or that we’re less valuable than men. (In fact, I have some earlier podcast episodes that speak to just how valuable we women are to God - and how certain Scriptures and messages have gotten twisted. I highly recommend checking out episodes 11, 12, and 34 if you’d like to go deeper into that.)
God created Eve as an equal co-ruler to Adam. You are a Daughter of the King. You are a follower of Jesus. That is the foundation of your identity, authority, and sense of worth. Not what culture, or patriarchal systems, or toxic partners, or mygogist male colleagues, or anyone else tells you.
You belong to the God of the universe…and He gave you a voice. To use. That’s all the permission you need.
And that’s the foundational truth that you need to build from and make progress from - bringing this to Jesus and letting Him help you along the way.
2) From there, start believing in yourself and in what you have to say
I don’t mean to sound as if this is super easy or an overnight adjustment. But if step one is resting in the truth of how God sees you and how He created you, then step two needs to be building on that by starting to believe in yourself.
Because if God specifically created you to be you, and He considers your value equal to anyone else’s - including men - and you are designed to be a co-ruler and an empowered woman in Jesus…then, sister, how can you not start to believe in yourself as a result?
Or, at the very least, how can you not begin to step out, day by day, knowing that truth? And you don’t need to take large steps.
3) It is perfectly okay to start small.
I say this a lot, but it’s not because I’m perfect in this area (just FYI). In fact, in the beginning of the episode, I shared how God has put a spotlight on the fact that I’ve been putting too much on my plate. Partly because I try to go from point A to point Z overnight.
I know from personal experience that it’s not easy to (a) find your voice if it’s been lost - meaning what you believe in, etc., and (b) start using it. To start speaking up when, for example, past attempts in that area have led to bad results.
You don’t have to start speaking up everywhere all at once. Choose one avenue to start with. And this can even be speaking up internally to yourself. For example, to stop allowing yourself to talk yourself out of things that bring you joy. Or, as in my case, creating a load that’s realistic and balanced.
You can also select one avenue that’s more external. Maybe dealing with your intimidating, mygogist male colleague isn’t something you’re ready for yet. (That’s probably something you need to work up to.) But, maybe you can start by voicing your true thoughts, needs, or boundaries to people when you’re out and about. Such as going to the grocery store, etc. I know that when I was first learning to use my voice, I realized that I rarely communicated what I needed or wanted to in everyday situations. So I made a point of changing that. It’s easier to speak up in an everyday interaction with a stranger than with someone like a tough colleague.
These are just a couple of examples. But the big idea is to identify one area where you can start stepping out of your comfort zone and using your voice. It doesn’t have to be perfect. You’re not aiming for perfection. You’re aiming for progress.
4) Tip: Use a journal to help your progress.
If you need to reclaim your voice or discover it for the first time, have a dedicated journal to help piece that together. Normally, I like to say that journals can be physical or digital. But in this case, having a physical journal will allow you to add photos or images of things that you believe in and that interest you - or that represent your expertise. Kind of like a journal + scrapbook, if you will.
Sometimes, we can lose ourselves so much that we need some focused and intentional work to help change that. And jotting down thoughts, or reminders that God has specifically put in your path, or noting something you saw that sparked an interest…all those things can help to reform the picture.
A journal can also be a place to keep a record of your successes to help motivate further progress. It’s amazing how easily we forget the positive progress that we’ve made and, instead, interact with negative thoughts or mindsets. But if you have a record of all the times you’ve spoken up, and the positive outcomes, it’s harder to remain in that negative place. Or for the Enemy to sell you his lies.
The type of journal that you use is totally up to you. However, if you want something Jesus centered and highly motivational, or a design you won’t find anywhere else, I have both hardback journals and sturdy spiral notebooks in my online store. Just click the link in the show notes to view all of the possibilities.
Wrap-up
Sister, I hope that this episode has shown you that - no matter your situation or circumstances - there are practical steps that you can take towards finding your voice, owning it like a boss, and transforming into a woman who speaks her mind without hesitation.
Even if that still sounds unbelievable, remember step number one. If you’re finding it hard to believe in yourself, or what you’re capable of, rest in God’s belief in you. And the truth of how He made you.
Because sister, your voice has immense power and value; the world is waiting for it to be heard; and the more you cultivate your voice, the more you become a Jesus empowered woman. Cheers!