Trusting God’s plan can be difficult - especially when it differs from our own. For example, this past year He called me to get a new job and then move from OH to WA. This required that I temporarily put down my calling.
Trusting God’s plan can also be hard when it doesn’t work out the way we anticipate. I moved 2,000 miles assuming God was bringing my boyfriend and I together - only for the relationship to end shortly after I arrived.
In situations like these, it can be tempting to feel like God just has it all wrong. But His plan is always bigger. Always better. The key is to stay focused on His character rather than our own limited perspective.
Join me as I share more details about the move including the challenges that I faced; the few words God gave me in advance (which wasn’t much!); the little bit He’s shared with me since; and how I’m standing strong even as I’m waiting for God to reveal exactly why I’m here.
Show Notes:
Intro
Alright! So before we get started, I just want to take a quick moment to cover a few housekeeping items. After all, it’s been almost a year since I’ve released an episode. So I want to ensure you know what to expect moving forward.
Firstly, this episode is part one of a three-part series that’s going to focus on what God has been doing in my life this past year. This episode will focus on God’s call for me to move across the country. The next episode, part two, will focus on the break-up that happened within weeks of my arrival. I’ll share high-level details - as I don’t want to break my ex-boyfriend’s confidence. Some things are his story to tell. Mainly, we’ll explore what happened from the question of: what do you do when you realize your man isn’t the one God has for you after all? That comes with some hard decisions and a trust in God’s plan. And in the third episode and final episode of the series, we’ll focus on trusting God with one’s calling. Especially when His plan seems to take you away from your calling.
Secondly, from now until at least the end of the year, I’ll be releasing a new episode every second Tuesday. So on a bi-weekly basis. If you are an avid listener of the show, you may recognize that this is a different cadence than before, when I released two episodes per week. The change is merely to keep things realistic on my end as I’m still settling in from the move. At the end of the year, I’ll evaluate. But for now, you can expect a new episode every second Tuesday.
If you’d like some additional community or help in-between episodes, feel free to go to: relateescape.com and click on “Community.” (There’s also a direct link in the show notes.) You can sign-up for access to the Relate Escape community on Slack. That includes 1:1 access to myself.
Alright, so with that said, let’s dig into my recent move and the challenge of trusting God when you’re literally moving into the unknown.
The Call
So the call to move from OH to WA happened like this:
Last May, God made it known that He was ending my decade+ long season of singleness.
In August, I met Charles - who lives here in WA - on eHarmony. God made it clear that His hand was all over the relationship - including us meeting in the first place. We also had deep feelings for each other.
As time passed, Charles and I began to pray over who would move. Would Charles move to OH (which he seriously considered)? Would I move to WA? Would God have us both move somewhere new - as Charles had always felt that his time in WA was meant to be limited.
The answer came in November when God confirmed that I was to move from OH to WA. And this came with two things:
One, He placed Joshua 1:9 in front of me numerous times: “Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened and do not be dismayed. [Some translations say discouraged.] For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” I felt that this was very much tied to me moving.
Two, through a Christian friend, He gave me the phrase, “Be excited!” - which He also put before me numerous times.
At the time, I thought He was giving me Joshua 1:9 simply as a supportive statement since He was calling me to a long distance move. (But the real reason became evident later. More on that in a bit.) I had a hard time with the “be excited!” since I was facing the complexity and logistics of a huge move - all on my own. (This also became clearer later.)
But the point at this juncture is that God made it very clear that I was called to move and confirmed it.
Other than those two items, however, God didn’t provide any additional clarity or insights as to what was in store for me in WA. The only other items that I had were:
My assumption that my relationship with Charles would naturally be part of my life, and
When I got closer to the move, Charles told me that He felt that God had a lot or more for me in WA.
God was, however, at that early stage already providing the money to make that move happen. In August, the same month I met Charles, God prompted me to start job-hunting. Soon after starting that process, I learned that I could easily go from a 5- to 6-figure income. Which means by the time God called me to move, He had already started the wheels on ensuring I had funds to do so. (In addition to learning my true value in the marketplace and moving me to a better career situation.)
So to summarize, the call to move was clear. God was calling me to move 2,000 miles from a large city in OH to a small, rural town in WA where Charles lived. And after finally finding that new job in April, I had the money to make it happen before my OH lease ended in August.
As we got closer to the move, Charles started voicing concerns and, at times, wanted me to reverse the process even though it was too late to do so. Part of his stance was his concern that I was moving somewhere entirely new to me, only knowing him, without a promise of how the relationship would go.
My response in these conversations centered around trusting God. I was moving in large part, yes, due to Charles and our relationship. But my main reason was still because God was calling me to do so. And I have walked alongside God long enough, and He’s developed a trust and faith in me deep enough, that I knew He wouldn’t call me somewhere and then leave me hanging if the relationship fell apart. Or that He would call me somewhere with only one blessing (i.e., Charles) and zero consideration of the bigger picture.
At the time, I didn’t believe the relationship would actually fall apart. But my focus was on God’s character and trusting in Him. Which turned out to be especially key.
And ladies, before I go on, I want to take a minute to point out that this is one of the positives of walking through tough or challenging seasons with the Lord and seeing, and experiencing, how He takes care of you. How He’s got your back. How He always has your best interests at heart even if you can't always see it or question what the heck He’s doing.
I’m sure a lot of people would consider what I did - pick-up and move to the other side of the country - even with God’s call - to be illogical, crazy, and a host of other things. To go somewhere you’d never chose for yourself; only ended up seeing for a week prior to moving (I went out on vacation in May, after I had already signed my lease in WA, I might add); with your then boyfriend - the only person that you know; and no extensive clarity from God as to what the bigger plan is.
By all human logic, crazy, right? But quote/unquote “crazy” is exactly the type of kids that He’s looking for. Think about the stories in the Bible. The most epic ones required that God’s people trusted in Him. Walking around Jericho, playing music in order to bring the walls down and capture the city? Nuts. Moses holding up his hands - albeit with some assistance when his arms understandably got tired - to ensure military victory? Nonsensical. Esther approaching the king - which she was forbidden to do without being summoned and could therefore have been killed for doing so - in the hope that he spared her life and also helped to save her entire people from annihilation? Downright insane.
Unless you know God’s character and trust Him.
1 John 4:18 says (TLB), “We need have no fear of someone who loves us perfectly; his perfect love for us eliminates all dread of what he might do to us. If we are afraid, it is for fear of what he might do to us and shows that we are not fully convinced that he really loves us.”
Right before that in verse 16 it says, “God is love.”
And before that in verse 9 it says, “God showed how much he loved us by sending his only Son into this wicked world to bring to us eternal life through his death.”
A God who sends his only Son to die for us, because He loves us that much and refuses to be separated from us due to sin, is not the kind of God to call you to something just to see you fail, or to be miserable, or to ruin my plans for the fun of it.
I may not have been given clarity on the plan - the reasons as to why God was calling me to move. But through my 20+ year relationship with God, I knew Him. I knew I could trust Him - and His plan.
So despite Charles’ protests, or concern over whether I would like it here, or how crazy it may seem to others, I put together the exceedingly long to-do list; sold most of my furniture and greatly pared down my belongings; charted a course across country, booking hotels that allowed large dogs; and did all the other things to arrive in WA on Friday, August 4, 2023.
The Change
Now, as I alluded to earlier, the relationship didn't turn out the way I expected it to after the move. I’ll cover more of that in the next episode. But suffice it to say, one month after arriving in WA, my relationship with Charles was over - per God’s clear directive on my end. (Again, more on this later.)
That means I suddenly found myself living in an entirely new place without knowing another soul. And the one major reason I thought I was here…suddenly gone.
In His goodness, though, God was already giving me another focus. First, as I said, He told me to back away from the relationship and leave Charles’ well-being in His hands. Due to some things that were happening with Charles, I was actually very aligned with that directive.
Second, for the first time since starting my new job several months ago, work allowed me to truly dig into something that made me feel productive, engaged, triumphant, and more like myself.
Third, and more importantly, right after God confirmed that I was to step away from the relationship, through the same friend back in Columbus who kept telling me to “Be excited!”, God told me to “Pour into your podcast now.” He’s also placed other things before me regarding getting back to my creative calling and how He wants to use creativity in general for the Kingdom.
As of the moment in which I’m writing this, I still don’t know who my community is meant to be. I’ve reached out to a few churches, and I feel pulled to a certain local restaurant. But other than knowing that (a) my relationship with Charles wasn’t meant to be permanent, and (b) God wants me to get back into my calling and its creativity, I’m still waiting for Him to reveal more.
In the meantime, He’s meeting me here. In the stars that I can now see in the sky, being outside of a city. In the amazing Pacific Northwest landscape. In helping me to connect with my friend back in Columbus and using her to confirm and encourage. Including a reference to Luke 5:37 where Jesus talks about how new wine can’t be placed in old wineskins because the wineskins will burst.
To extrapolate on that a bit, sometimes in order for God to do a new thing in us, including taking us to a new season, we need a new environment. Moving across the country would do that! In addition, to move in a cost-effective way, I was forced to let go of material possessions that, while still pretty and functionable, didn’t really serve me anymore. It also forced me to think, “What do I truly want to take? What do I truly want to be included in my life moving forward? Who do I want to be?”
My idea of God finally opening up my podcast to more listeners, and my book eventually being published, etc. originally included me doing so around my old job, attached to old things, going at it solo. God’s plan has included raising my income to 6-figures; giving me a more stable and supportive day job community; opening myself up to relationship after a 12-year season of singleness; and making the bold move of moving to WA.
And who knows what impact that will have on my calling and business? (Not to mention my growth as a Christian.) I may be in a rural town now. But whoever or whatever God brought me here for simply must be very specific. There’s an art scene in the region. What if that plays a role? There’s a college campus. What if God wants to reach women earlier to spare them the years I went through? In essence, help them skip some of those tougher lessons or bad choices. And take those teachings back home to wherever home is?
Remember that verse in Joshua that God gave me before I moved? “Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened and do not be dismayed. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
After my relationship with Charles ended, I realized that God hadn’t given me this verse simply to be supportive. He knew what would happen. He knew there was going to be a period where I was alone here. And He wanted me to remind me that He’s with me. That I don’t need to be scared, or worried, or anything similar.
Even the “Be excited!” now has a deeper meaning. I’ll admit. When the break-up first happened, I thought about that and had no idea how that fit in. Be excited? Really? But when God quickly called me to jump back into my podcast, and to get back into my creativity in general, and through my friend He communicated His desire to ready me for something completely and utterly new…then it made sense! In fact, my friend naturally found herself saying that again! We had a call that started out about the break-up and what had led up to it. But God did such a great work in her, that by the end, after the things she said, she found herself saying, “Be excited!”
Wrap-up
Sisters, I don’t know what God has in store for me here. I’ll admit, I have moments where I wonder if I’ll even have community here. Or if somewhere out there is the man that God has for me. But for the most part, by God’s grace and due to our relationship, I’m trusting in Him and His plan.
Someday, I will look back on this period and it will make sense! I’ll see what God was doing and why. In the meantime, I need to take it one day at a time and focus on what He’s calling me to - including this podcast! As well as continue to mourn the end of my relationship and what I thought it was (when it actually wasn’t).
But more or that in the next episode. For now, I hope this episode has blessed you in some way. And don’t forget to click in the show notes to learn more about me or join the official community. Cheers!