Being an empowered woman is challenging, especially when we’re up against certain cultural expectations - many of which are considered acceptable norms.
But the truth is that, where women are concerned, the world is directly contrary to the Bible in several areas (despite how it's sometimes interpreted). In other words, the Bible says one thing while the world is telling us the exact opposite.
Join me (for episode #87) as I zero in on three of these areas to help you find clarity, peace, and major breakthroughs.
Show Notes:
Intro
One of the most important and powerful tools that we have at our disposal as Christian women is knowing our true identity. In other words, who we are in Christ. And who we are to God, the Creator of the universe, and our Heavenly Father.
Unfortunately, the world that we live in also has a lot to say about our identity. And the messages we receive can change as quickly - or as randomly - as the wind. No logic required. Not to mention, the source can change, too.
Even if we’re surrounded by a loving, supportive, Biblical community (whether that’s family, friends, church, what-have-you), we’re still subjected to messages from the culture at large - and from certain people within our sphere. So, despite solid community and teaching, we may start to believe things aren’t true.
Not because we’re not smart, highly intelligent women. But because some of these messages have been surrounding us since we were small children. So we just took them as truth. Or because we’re in a tough season and we find ourselves exposed to the same message, time and again, to the point where, in our exhaustion and despondency, we start to believe it.
Either way, these cultural messages can create confusion, hardship, or disbelief. They can chip away at our sense of empowerment. They can make us feel as if we’re stuck - either stuck in place or stuck in a box (or both).
And all the while…these messages (or things we’ve taken as truth) simply aren’t true. The world and the Enemy may want us to believe that they are, and that this fallen world is the way it is and, as such, there’s nothing to be done about it but to accept it (and our lot). But the reality is that these messages aren’t Biblical. And they aren’t what God wants for us, pure and simple.
So, by this point you’re probably wondering what these messages are. What am I referring to, exactly?
Let’s look at three of the biggest culprits.
Culture: Women are not equal to men. Truth: God created women as equal partners to men.
Ever since the Fall, when sin entered the world, women have been fighting for equality. But inequality is NOT what God intended when He created Eve.
So where did it come from?
One, like a lot of things, it came as a result of sin entering the world. And, two, Satan has a special hatred for women. (I’ll circle back to that second one in a moment.)
From some pulpits, it’s been taught that God created Eve to be secondary to Adam. In Genesis 2:18, Eve is referred to as a “helpmeet” or “helper” to Adam (depending on the translation). This wording has, at times, been presented as proof of Eve’s inequality to Adam. But that view is more patriarchal than Biblical. Because that’s not what Scripture actually says.
The original Hebrew that is translated as “helpmeet” or “helper” is “ezer kenegdo”. It means opposite, counterpart, or alongside. In other words, it’s referring to an equal partnership. Women are different from men in some ways, yes, but equal.
In addition, the first two times “ezer kenegdo” appears in the Bible, it’s in relation to women. In the remaining 20 or so instances that it appears in the Old Testament, it’s in relation to God.
Obviously, this is not something that is going to mean ‘lesser than’ or ‘subservient to.’ As if God is ‘less than’ in some way. So, to say that it means just that when used regarding women doesn’t make sense.
And if that wasn’t enough, it’s also interesting to note that it's frequently used in a military context. Think concepts such as deliverance, victory, and the like. “ezer kenegdo” is about being strong. About being on the front lines - not taking a back seat.
Scripture is clear. God created Eve as an equal - but slightly different - counterpart to Adam. She was meant to complement and co-rule with him. That was God’s intention.
But, again, when sin entered the world, things started to go awry in this area just like it did in others. By Genesis 4:19, after the story of Cain and Abel, we have the first mention of multiple wives in Lamech - who married two women. Already, women were being devalued.
The other influence here is Satan’s special hatred for women. It’s too much to dive into here, but Episodes 11 and 12 (which are a two part series) cover this entire subject. Those episodes are based on a book by Stasi and John Eldredge called Captivating. (By the way, you may also want to check out Episode 9 which dives deeper into Genesis and the “helpmeet” versus “ezer kenegdo” issue.)
Anyway…suffice it to say, Satan is jealous of women for specific reasons that I touch on in Episodes 11 and 12. Not due to anything Eve or any woman has done…. Because of the choice Satan made, what he lost as a result, and how who we are makes him jealous.
So, not only are we dealing with a fallen world, we’re also dealing with an enemy who has a special and pointed desire to attack who we are. Our well-being. Our sense of identity. Etc.
But, we don’t need to believe those lies or false messages. All the things that tell us that we’re not as deserving or as equal to men. We’re the daughters of God. Sisters to Jesus. Our identity is in what God says about us; not what the world says. And God created us to be equal co-rulers.
And while we can’t change all the inequality overnight - such as equal pay, etc. - we can ask God for change. Change for our specific circumstances, and change holistically. Culturally. Globally. We can ask Jesus to go before us, to give us favor, to help us break free from whatever is holding us back.
I was watching a documentary recently where one of the female experts said she believed that Jesus was the first feminist, Biblically speaking. Why? Because within His sphere, Jesus treated women with equality despite the massive inequality that existed at the time. (Episode 64 focuses on this very point.)
We have Jesus to help us break through barriers - including inequality. I’m not saying that every prayer will be answered. (God doesn’t answer “yes” all of the time.) What I am saying, though, is that we’re not stuck simply accepting the unBiblical limitations of this world.
In the intro to this episode, I alluded to my own journey and the empowerment that came from casting aside certain messages about who I am. I cast aside beliefs that I’d held into since childhood - like that in certain situations I needed a man when, in most instances, I was perfectly capable of taking care of myself. Especially since God and Jesus have my back.
That’s what I want for you, sister. I want you to embark on a journey, with Jesus, to discover who you really are in God’s eyes. And to discover your own power. If we believe that we’re not equal, we’re not going to understand what we’re capable of. We’re not going to fully live out the calling that God has for us.
Because we’re not meant to be subservient (in that patriarchal way) or unequal. You, sister, are meant to be a force to be reckoned with - in the name of Jesus.
Culture: We have lots of labels for you, no matter how you act or what you do. That’s how we want to define you. Truth: Our identity is in God - not the labels the world gives us.
Sometimes, it doesn’t matter what we do, we get labeled negatively. Especially in comparison to men. For example, a man is simply “a boss.” But a woman gets labeled as “bossy.” (And the connotation isn’t a positive one.)
Then there’s the never-ending trap of labels. A woman who’s told that she’s being “too bossy” might try to change tact only to then be informed that she’s “too emotional.”
Heck, sometimes we receive such labels when it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. I’ve had men tell me that I was being emotional or irrational when I was sitting there, completely calm and composed, arguing with logic that would make Spock proud.
However we receive them, at the end of the day, the purpose behind these kinds of labels is to put us in boxes. To keep us smaller, less empowered, and clinging to the belief that we’re lesser than. The intent is to whittle us down to a tiny fraction of our smart, powerful, Holy Spirit filled selves.
But, as we just looked at, we were created as a co-ruler to men. We are equal. And we’re meant to be on the front lines, too. (Whatever that looks like, as we all have different callings.)
So these labels…they have absolutely no place in our lives. None. Zip. Zilch. God’s not looking down going, “Jenn’s being bossy again.” Instead, He’s probably more like, “There’s my daughter, Jenn, who is being a boss of the mission I gave her. And she’s making me proud!”
Now, granted, we can’t stop the labels. We’re always going to encounter them in some form: an online post, a jerk coworker, what-have-you.
BUT we can choose to reject them. We can choose to not let them define us. We can choose to refuse to feel smaller or hindered or boxed in.
Now, granted, that can be much easier said than done. Especially if you’re dealing with a misogynist or toxic workplace. (Which I have experienced myself.) Being in that kind of environment day after day is not an easy thing, by any means.
BUT - you are not the labels. You are a daughter of the Creator of the universe. You are an empowered force. You are set apart, and special, and you are not your mistakes. (Something else we tend to get identified with more than men.)
Which brings me to the last area I want to touch on….
Culture: You should be ashamed of yourself - forever. Truth: God does not shame us or want us to live in shame.
This is another place where inequality pops up. And we’ve all witnessed it, right? For example, a male director can create a movie with a massive, multi-million dollar budget; which then flops at the box office; and a few months later, he’s gotten backed by the studio to make an even bigger film. Meanwhile, if a woman had been in that position, she would be fighting to work again.
We’ve also seen this in the world of premarital sex and a woman getting pregnant. More often than not, the woman is permanently labeled in a negative way. While the man escapes such labels. Or, in some cases, maintains a so-called positive one among his friends.
When women make mistakes or simply fall short (or simply have the courage to try regardless of the outcome), those things are attached to her identity. And, quite often, she’s also made to feel shameful.
But here’s the thing. Shame is defined as “humiliation” or “distress.” These are not things God wants us to carry. Romans 8:1 says, “There is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.”
God does not shame us. He doesn’t berate us for our sins or mistakes; nor does he make us feel like our identity is now in those things versus in Him. Rather, He asks that we repent if applicable (not as punishment, but so that we turn away from the sin and towards Him more fully once again) and comforts us.
Shame is simply not Biblical.
And just with the labels we receive, the shame and condemnation that people try to place on us in this fallen world can make us feel small. Like we’ve royally screwed up and there’s no second chance. As if God can’t redeem a situation or may even be using it (like trying one’s hand at directing a movie) to prepare us for something else.
Everyone sins. Everyone makes mistakes - male and female. But not everyone is courageous enough to step out in faith. Or to try something new. Or to break through barriers. Or to repent, surrender to God, and let Him turn the broken pieces into something beautiful.
No matter what we do, God never stops loving us. So, no matter what anyone says, even if they’re close to us, we need to reject shame. We may feel responsible or ashamed for something we’ve done. But choosing to drown in shame, and integrate it as part of our identity, that isn’t where we want to be. Nothing good can come from that. And it’s not a place of Jesus-based empowerment.
Wrap-up
Sister, no matter what you might be thinking or feeling at this moment, you are an empowered Christian woman. Maybe you’re not quite believing that yet. But, if this episode has shown you anything, I hope it’s shown you that that’s what God has created you to be.
How and where we’re that force is different for all of us - because we all have different callings. And we have different parts of our life - home, work, etc.
But without a shadow of a doubt, you were created as an equal co-ruler and counterpart. Your identity rests in who you belong to, and who created you, which is God. (Not any labels that are thrown your way.) And God’s not looking down at your sins or mistakes, wanting you to take them up as your identity or for you to drown in shame or humiliation. Like it says in 1 John 4:16, God is love. God loves you. He wants you to be repentant, sure, but He also wants you to look to Him more than you look to the world.
The world doesn’t get to define you. He does. Cheers!