The World Says Love is an Emotion
When we hear, read, or watch something about love in secular culture, it usually centers around love being an emotion.
As such, there are concepts such as:
“Falling in love” and “falling out of love.” - This is often used to explain why someone is getting a divorce after a decade of marriage, for example. One day the spouse is “in love.” But then they “fall out of love” - meaning the emotion has disappeared. And so they feel the need to leave the relationship and pursue “finding love again.”
Not being loving because we don’t “feel loving.” - In other words, if the emotion component isn’t there, we have a reason not to act in a loving manner.
The problem with these types of concepts is that the emotion - which can change minute by minute because, after all, it’s a feeling and one within a complex human being - is given all of the power.
It’s not the person calling the shots. Instead, the emotion has all of the power and the person is a victim. (Thus, when someone “falls out of love,” they have no choice but to leave the relationship.)
In turn, this makes love - and the people who we desire to get love from - seem very fickle and unstable. It’s also hard to trust, open your wounded heart, etc.
And if it’s difficult to do that with humans, how can we do that with God?
Well, God actually has a different definition of love.
The Bible Says Love is an Action
The Biblical definition of love is different - radically so.
Now, the Bible does not say that love isn’t an emotion. Or that the feeling of love is bad. (After all, God created our ability to have feelings.)
However, while the world places the emphasis on emotion, the Bible places it on action. Here are a few examples:
1 John 3:18 (NIV) says, “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” (Emphasis added.)
John 3:16 (NIV) says, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
God didn’t opt to love us only with emotion. He took radical action.
1 Corinthians 16:14 (NIV) says, “Do everything in love.” (Emphasis added.)
Luke 6:35 (NLT) says, “Love your enemies! Do good to them. Lend to them without expecting to be repaid. Then your reward from heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for he is kind to those who are unthankful and wicked.”
Loving our enemies - through action - implies that feelings aren’t enough. (And mirrors God’s character.)
In John 14:15 (NLT) Jesus says, “If you love me, obey my commandments.”
There are a few key things to take away here:
Feeling love isn’t enough when it comes to doing God’s work or our relationship with God. We need to show that love through actions.
We are called to do love even when we don’t feel love. (Example: We’re probably not overcome with love emotionally regarding our enemies. And if we are, it’s because we’re leaning into God and allowing Him to make us more Christ-like. In other words, the love isn’t coming from us.)
But the point I really want to make here, in light of the focus of this episode, is that God doesn’t just feel love. He places a priority on action.
Which means if you’re in a place where you’ve been struggling with believing that God loves you, or seeing evidence of that love, the Bible has just shown you that He has, indeed, been acting in love - even if you haven’t been able to see it.
But, with this new knowledge and perspective, you can see it now. It just requires looking at God’s love through the lens of what His love actually is rather than using the world’s version.
Putting it in Practice: Make a List of 10 Loving Actions God Has Done in Your Life
Step 1: Give yourself some time to process this revelation. Feel free to re-listen to the episode.
Step 2: Get out a notebook or open a new digital document.
Step 3: Armed with this new perspective:
Think back on your life. Can you now see God’s hand in your life? What action-oriented acts of love can you now recognize?
What Bible stories or Scriptures now seem different? Can you see God taking action out of love?
Tips:
This can be an ongoing exercise, allowing you to add things as they come to mind.
If you’re having a hard time getting started, begin with the most obvious: God sent Jesus, His only Son, to die on the cross for your sins.
Bonus Step:
What loving actions can you do for God? (Not out of obligation, but as a natural response to His love for you?)
How does the biblical definition of love, with its emphasis on action over the presence of the emotion, change your view of real love?
Ask Jesus to help you move towards being someone who lives from the biblical definition over the worldly one.
Also, use the biblical definition as a filter to spy “love” that is fake, selfish, self-serving, or fickle (aka use it to protect your heart).