Sister, are you dealing with resistance or push back as you're growing in confidence, boldness, and empowerment as a Christian woman?
Are you getting negative reactions to your decisions and actions? Do these situations send you into a downward spiral or make you think twice about continuing on the journey Jesus has for you?
Dealing with resistance is, unfortunately, inevitable - especially as an empowered woman. But that doesn’t mean it needs to stop your progress.
Instead, you can equip yourself to move forward in spite of it. And all it takes is some wisdom and a bit of strategy - which is what I'm going to share with you today! I'm going to arm you with a simple - yet highly effective - three step process to overcoming any and all push back that you encounter.
Show Notes:
Intro
One of the things I’ve learned on my own journey is that when you’re stepping into who God created you to be…when your confidence starts to increase…when you start to make decisions from a more empowered place…when you stop accepting the status quo…there usually ends up being some form of resistance.
And that resistance can take many forms. It can come from random interactions. I’ve actually had this happen numerous times. Right after I acted from a place of boldness or confidence, some random stranger “happened” to cross my path. And they “happened” to say or do something that either hit me in a sensitive place - or that challenged the area I had just flexed my new level of growth in.
I actually think the Enemy would put people in my path to essentially say, “Oh no, girlie. Stay in your box.”
This resistance or push back can also come from people you know. Bosses or co-workers; friends or family; even spouses or boyfriends. Maybe they don’t quite understand the changes or growth you’re experiencing. Or they need time to really recognize and adjust to the new you. (Which is fair enough, right?) But it could also be that they’re jealous; or they preferred how you were before; or they don’t like the new, healthy boundaries that you’re setting; or something else along those lines.
Now, I don’t mean to suggest that every single person that you know is going to have a negative or diabolical reaction. Either to your growth overall or the specific decisions you’re making. Or actions you’re taking.
But you are going to face push back or resistance. There’s just no getting around that fact. For one thing, the Enemy doesn’t want you to start down a path of freedom and empowerment in Christ. And two, when you start to flex those empowerment muscles, especially as a woman, that’s going to rub some people and systems the wrong way.
Also, if you’re still in some bad or toxic relationships as you start this journey, this is definitely going to happen. I was Saved two years into my marriage to a highly manipulative and emotionally abusive man. And as Jesus healed me, started killing my co-dependency, and built up my confidence…it’s not like my ex-husband was celebrating. He was grinding his teeth as I stopped being his victim. In fact, the marriage fell apart when I stood up to him and his response was: “You either do exactly what I want or we’re getting a divorce.”
Talk about resistance! (I chose Jesus over him, by the way. In case you haven’t heard the rest of the story from some of my other episodes.)
All that to say, I don’t mean to sound “doom and gloom” here. I just know, from personal experience, that you’re going to run into resistance as you start to grow with Jesus. And so I want you to be prepared. Equipped. Ready to move forward anyway. In all instances, big or small.
Otherwise, I’m doing you a disservice. It makes no sense for me to do episode after episode on how to break free from what’s holding you back, and how to grow into the woman God created you to be, and how to blossom into a Jesus empowered maiden…if I don’t help you get through things like this.
Plus, I know how tough it can be to not let these instances keep you from moving forward. To keep you from continuing to grow and level up with Jesus.
Especially in the beginning when you may be dealing with imposter syndrome, or it’s hard to deal with conflict, or you’re still building up that thick skin. It’s a process; the transformation doesn’t happen overnight. Which is one of the reasons why the Enemy wants to stop you in your tracks early-on. Because he knows the stronger you become, the more empowered you become, the more healed and free you become, the more difficult it will be to easily thwart you.
So let me share a 3-step method that’s going to help ensure that you continue to move forward. Just because you’re still building up that confidence, and boldness, and empowerment doesn’t mean that you’re without tactics or armor.
And this method will work as you grow and progress as well. Once you get it down, it’s going to be a long-term addition to your arsenal. You won’t ever grow out of this one.
Step 1 - Train yourself to expect resistance/push back
Now, on the onset, I know that might sound less than encouraging. Maybe that isn’t what you wanted to hear. But here’s the deal, sister: ignoring reality - however uncomfortable - isn’t going to help you grow. It’s only going to hinder your growth.
And I say this with sensitivity and empathy because I know you’re probably not a stranger to uncomfortable situations. (Neither am I.)
But the reality is that, at times, you’re going to face resistance. It’s just part of the journey of (a) being a Christian in a fallen world, and (b) blossoming into the empowered, yet uniquely called woman God created you to be.
So you can’t hide from it. You can’t outrun it. You can’t ignore it. But that’s okay? Why? Because you’re going to learn how to best it. (And that’s where the other two steps in this method come into play.)
The difference between a woman who is empowered - and empowered in Jesus - versus a woman who isn’t…is that she knows where victory lies. First, in her Savior. And second, in her being equipped to overcome. The key word here is “equipped.”
Do you know what equipped means? It actually has a couple definitions. One is: to “supply with the necessary items for a particular purpose.” (Such as a method for not allowing push back or resistance to hinder your progress or growth.)
Equipped also means: to “prepare (someone) mentally for a particular situation or task.” (Such as recognizing - and expecting - resistance to happen. So you can overcome it.)
Because if you choose to ignore it…you can’t overcome it. The chances of you letting it stop you in your tracks shoots skyward. But if you accept that it’s going to happen, and you equip yourself accordingly, that resistance loses its power.
Step 2 - When the resistance/push back happens, pause to access it
This is where you start to get one up on the Enemy. This is where you start to apply wisdom that takes you further. This is where you start to take control and overcome.
Remember how, a few minutes ago, I touched on the various reasons someone might offer push back or resistance? This is where that becomes important.
When we come up against push back…when someone tries to make us feel less than, or put us back into a box, or tries to tear down our new-found confidence or boldness…your initial reaction (especially if you’re just starting out on this journey) will likely be to stop, look inward, and start re-evaluating what you said, did, or thought. Why you made that choice; took that action. You can end up in a spiral that, if you’re not careful, takes you backward.
I don’t want you to go inward, though. Even if your initial reaction is to do that…I want you to start training yourself to stop and access that interaction from an outward perspective first.
Meaning, is the resistance or push back from someone who truly loves you? But hasn’t caught up to the new you yet? Or needs time to adjust?
Or, does this seem like a ploy of the Enemy? For example, what are the chances that a man who looks like your ex happened to cross paths with you at Starbucks and made you feel small for standing up for yourself when your order was totally messed up? And it just hit you right there…in that sensitive spot that exists because your ex never liked you asserting yourself in any manner?
Or, is this a result of you just not accepting the status quo anymore? Is your misogynist boss expressing his displeasure with you setting healthy boundaries? Or going after that promotion that you’ve been passed over for countless times?
These are just a few examples. But the big idea is to stop and assess the situation or interaction. Don’t just let yourself go into a downward spiral. If this resistance is happening because you’re growing in Jesus and exercising your empowerment as Jesus would…you’re not the problem. You didn’t do anything wrong.
So this isn’t about you just taking whatever happened as reality. This is about choosing how you’re going to react. It’s about choosing how much time, attention, and energy this gets from your life. And - as much as possible - choosing how it affects you.
Then, once you have a fair assessment of what happened, as much as you’re able, it’s time for Step 3.
Step 3 - Choose how to act (or not act) in response
Notice the option that I just presented. You have a choice. You can choose to respond - or you can choose not to respond.
I want to make a few important points here.
First, some of these situations - where you meet resistance - are meant to be distractions. Satan is really, really good at distracting us from where Jesus is calling us to focus. And one of the best ways he can do that is by hitting you in a sensitive area. Suddenly, then, you’re not focusing on your growth. You’re not even aware that this ploy by the Enemy is to try and distract you and curb your growth. You’re just full-on in a downward spiral or obsessing over it - or both.
But if you’ve stopped and assessed, as per Step 2, and you’ve got a pretty strong sense that this is meant to be a distraction by the Enemy…maybe you’ve even prayed over it and Jesus has confirmed it as such…then why would this get any more of your time and energy?
In this situation, this is clearly not worth your time and energy. It’s not worth a response. And it clearly should not result in you letting it go to heart - to the point where it affects your growth. Instead, it just needs to end here. Satan tried to trip you up - you were aware like it says in 1 Peter 5:8: “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” (Or in this case, distract or throw off course.)
The big idea I want you to take away from this example is that not every situation deserves your time and attention.
Second, if the resistance is merely a case of someone who truly loves you adjusting to the new you…then obviously you probably do want to respond. Maybe there needs to be a heart-to-heart about what Jesus is doing in your life and how you’re growing in Him. And hearing out the other person so you understand where they’re coming from. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you go back on your decisions or stop your growth. But obviously, this instance does deserve your time, energy, and attention.
Just be careful not to take it too much to heart. No downward spirals. If there’s a way you can still grow and be empowered but also help your spouse or friend or family member understand this new you, that’s worth exploring. You still want to be considerate and loving even as you’re leveling up. But no downward spirals. And no people pleasing. Keep your focus on what Jesus is calling you to do or focus on.
Thirdly, choose your battles wisely. Ephesians 6:12 says, “For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.”
Some battles are, as mentioned previously, meant to be distractions. And nothing will distract you like a battle you can’t win. Or aren’t meant to win - let alone be engaged in.
Now, I’m not saying that you should never stand up for yourself. Or that Jesus suddenly has zero power and won’t be there for you. But if we go back to the example of the misogynistic boss that I shared a little bit ago…in certain situations, it’s really easy to get caught up in trying to win against a person…while forgetting that we’re not actually fighting against a person.
We’re fighting against sin and “evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.”
This is another reason why it’s so important to apply wisdom. You can still fight for that promotion if that’s where Jesus is leading you…but remember who you’re actually battling against. Because that’s going to affect your entire approach…and how much time, energy, and attention this situation costs you. And where it’s focused.
It’s not about you not being seen as good enough…or, to phrase it another way, it’s not about you being seen as “less than.” It’s actually about those dark forces recognizing your value and power in Jesus and not wanting it to move forward.
Again, if this is something Jesus is calling you to pursue. If this is Jesus keeping a door closed because you’re not supposed to walk through it, then this doesn’t deserve a response at all.
Wrap-up
Do you see the difference this 3-step method makes? These 3 little steps completely change how these moments or situations of resistance affect your growth, your well being, your time, your energy, your relationship with Jesus, your life!
And it changes how you see yourself. Instead of there being inward, downward spirals that result in giving control of your life over to others…you’re owning your awesomeness…you’re owning your identity in Christ…and moving forward in a healthy and empowering way!
You got this, sister! I have faith in you! And Jesus does, too!