Are you convinced that your experiences just aren’t relatable?
That no one will ever understand the specific challenges or traumas that you’ve faced? Do you believe that you’re simply too different for others to get?
There are numerous causes behind the lie that no one will ever understand you or your story - and it *is* a lie. One that Jesus desperately wants to free you from because it’s impeding your growth and empowerment.
So let’s closely examine this lie in order to break its power!
Show Notes:
Intro
No one will ever understand. Man, this can be such a powerful lie. I believed this so strongly for years. I was wholeheartedly convinced that no one would get me or understand certain pivotal things that I’ve lived through.
Eventually, I just got to a point where I stopped even trying to share. I had simply decided that it was not to be. I was too different. The experiences that I’d had in life were too different. Everyone else around me seemed to be on one track and I was somewhere else completely.
But Jesus, thank goodness, was not going to let me get away with this. I’ve told this story more in-depth in a previous episode. But several years ago, I was watching the movie The Age of Adaline, and God spoke to me during one of the scenes and basically said, “It’s NOT good that you’re not sharing your story. You need to share your story.”
I wasn’t sure where exactly He was going with that at the time. But now here I am, several years later, following God’s calling to build a business based on my story. I mean, think about that for a minute.
Who I am (aka who God created me to be) and my experiences are at the heart of this business. (After God, of course.) And God told me early on that “your business is My mission.”
That means that God’s mission is for other women to be impacted by who I am and what I’ve experienced. Or, to state it another way, God’s mission is for other women to be impacted through the sharing of who I am and what I’ve experienced.
Well, if that’s the case, then obviously the idea that no one will ever understand me or what I’ve gone through was a total lie. Because God wouldn’t call me to share things that wouldn’t resonate; that wouldn’t complete His mission.
The truth of the matter is that if I had continued to not share about myself and my life experiences, it would have been very unhealthy for me. And it would have obviously lessened my impact in the world.
Because here is what this lie does….
1) It keeps you isolated.
Isolation is not what Jesus wants for you - or any of us. God is about community and relationships. After all, God Himself is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. There's a relationship there. God wants a relationship with us…to the point where He sent His only Son to die on the cross so that relationship (as well as life and hope) could be restored.
Isolation is the opposite of relationship. It’s the opposite of being in community. Which is why Satan works really hard to convince us that isolation is better.
Because that’s what happens right? Isolation is a natural result of this lie. It creates a hesitancy to open up to others, or forge relationships, or become part of a community.
If you believe that no one is going to understand you, then why try right? Why bother?
But isolation isn’t healthy. Not having community and relationships isn’t healthy. That’s where we find support, where Jesus can work through others on our behalf, where we can connect and learn that we have things in common.
Which means in addition to keeping you isolated, this lie….
2) It stunts your growth.
One of the reasons why Satan loves us to be isolated is because it severely stunts our growth. Isolation means that we’re removed from the very thing that provides healing, love, encouragement, support, prayer, a prophetic word, wisdom, Biblical teaching, etc.
As Christians, including as Jesus empowered maidens, we’re not meant to be standing on the battlefield, fighting the good fight, or facing the Enemy, all on our own. Any war strategist will tell you that that’s suicide. Wars are fought with armies - not sole warriors.
Even if we’re called to blaze a new trail for Jesus, we need that support group. We need to be plugged into a community of other believers that we can trust.
And by the way, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t use wisdom and discernment when it comes to who we open up to. We don’t need to share who we are or what we’ve gone through to everyone or anyone. We need to be wise and discerning. I’m simply saying that we need a safe community, whatever that looks like.
Because otherwise, not only is our growth stunted, but we’re an easier target for Satan to do more damage. If we’re already believing in things that aren’t true, and there’s no one around to see what’s going on in our life and speak into it, then we can be susceptible to other lies that Satan wants us to believe.
We’re Jesus maidens. We want to pursue empowerment in Jesus…but it can’t just be ourselves and Jesus. To grow in Jesus and our empowerment in Him, we need a support system. So even if we are standing on a battlefield alone, we’re covered in so many prayers that it’s as if our community were standing there with us.
This lie keeps you isolated. It severely stunts your growth. And lastly….
3) It keeps you from impacting others.
How? Because it keeps you from using your voice. A few episodes ago, in episode #56, I talked about the importance of your voice and how to go about finding it and owning it.
This is related to that. Because if you want to own your voice and use it to make an impact, then you have to believe that what you have to say matters. That others are waiting to hear it. That it’s going to create an impact whether it’s for 10 people or 10,000 people.
But if you don’t believe that anyone is going to understand what you have to say, or relate to it in any way, then you’re going to opt to be silent. You’re going to opt to not use and cultivate the power of your voice.
Not only does that negatively affect your internal sense of empowerment, it limits your impact in the world. And you are meant to create an impact.
No matter what you’ve gone through, how horrible or tragic it was, or even how insignificant you think it was, Jesus can use it to pour into others.
We are not alone and our story is not too different from everyone else’s. That is a lie of the Enemy. The truth is that Jesus can use anything and everything to bring about hope, healing, and other types of positive impact to those who desperately need it.
The truth is that there are aspects of who we are, and what we’ve lived through, that will resonate and help other people.
Like I said earlier, who I am and what I’ve gone through are the basis for Relate Escape and this podcast. And I don’t think it's a coincidence that as Jesus is guiding me in building this business, He’s also plugging me into the best community I’d ever had. While also lovingly breaking down other types of barriers or blockers that would keep me from experiencing real relationships.
Because Jesus knows that I need community…in general but also as my business grows. I need to be a female warrior with an army at my back. Otherwise, I’ll suffer because I’ll be ill-equipped and vulnerable. And thus my impact on the women God is calling me to serve will suffer.
And God is calling me to make an impact.
Wrap-up
Alright, so where does one go from here? I’ve laid out quite a bit and (as always) I want you to move forward in a positive, hopeful, and proactive way.
First, if you have been believing this lie - in total or in part - I want you to forgive yourself. Right here, right now. You are definitely not the first woman who has fallen into this lie. I held onto it with an iron grip for years, so I am right there with you, sister. I know how easy it is to slip into and hold onto.
But beating yourself up about it - or feeling guilty or shameful - isn’t going to help you. And it’s not what Jesus wants, either. He wants you to be set free from this lie - that’s His goal.
So forgive yourself. Look towards the future - not the past.
Second, remember that everything is a process. Neither myself or Jesus expect you to plug into community, have insane personal growth, and create a large impact overnight.
Processes are about consistent steps. By listening to this episode, you’ve already taken a massive first step today. Choosing to see a lie for what it is, and wanting to change things, is a huge step. Indulge in some chocolates, get a manicure, do something to celebrate this crazy awesome progress.
Moving forward, take other steps. Break it down into something that’s manageable and realistic. For example, have you been keeping some people or relationships at length because of this lie? Maybe it’s time to reach out to one of those folks and initiate some time together. You don’t need to tell your entire story over a burger - just make a move to develop the relationship.
And, finally, and most importantly, take this to Jesus. Or should I say seek His direction on what to tackle next because, if you’ve listened to this episode, I feel like Jesus has brought this breakthrough to you. So work with Him on the follow-up plan. Ask Him to show you what those little steps can be. Ask Him to break the power of this lie once and for all. Ask Him to give you glimpses of how you and your story can be used for the benefit of others.
And let me know what happens! Write a testimonial for the podcast, send me an email, or even a voice memo at the bottom of the Podcast page on my website. Or better yet, join the official Relate Escape community!
Satan never wins, sister! Not in the long run. Jesus will take this lie and create something astoundingly beautiful and impactful from it. And I can’t wait to see what that is! Cheers!
Intro
No one will ever understand. Man, this can be such a powerful lie. I believed this so strongly for years. I was wholeheartedly convinced that no one would get me or understand certain pivotal things that I’ve lived through.
Eventually, I just got to a point where I stopped even trying to share. I had simply decided that it was not to be. I was too different. The experiences that I’d had in life were too different. Everyone else around me seemed to be on one track and I was somewhere else completely.
But Jesus, thank goodness, was not going to let me get away with this. I’ve told this story more in-depth in a previous episode. But several years ago, I was watching the movie The Age of Adaline, and God spoke to me during one of the scenes and basically said, “It’s NOT good that you’re not sharing your story. You need to share your story.”
I wasn’t sure where exactly He was going with that at the time. But now here I am, several years later, following God’s calling to build a business based on my story. I mean, think about that for a minute.
Who I am (aka who God created me to be) and my experiences are at the heart of this business. (After God, of course.) And God told me early on that “your business is My mission.”
That means that God’s mission is for other women to be impacted by who I am and what I’ve experienced. Or, to state it another way, God’s mission is for other women to be impacted through the sharing of who I am and what I’ve experienced.
Well, if that’s the case, then obviously the idea that no one will ever understand me or what I’ve gone through was a total lie. Because God wouldn’t call me to share things that wouldn’t resonate; that wouldn’t complete His mission.
The truth of the matter is that if I had continued to not share about myself and my life experiences, it would have been very unhealthy for me. And it would have obviously lessened my impact in the world.
Because here is what this lie does….
1) It keeps you isolated.
Isolation is not what Jesus wants for you - or any of us. God is about community and relationships. After all, God Himself is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. There's a relationship there. God wants a relationship with us…to the point where He sent His only Son to die on the cross so that relationship (as well as life and hope) could be restored.
Isolation is the opposite of relationship. It’s the opposite of being in community. Which is why Satan works really hard to convince us that isolation is better.
Because that’s what happens right? Isolation is a natural result of this lie. It creates a hesitancy to open up to others, or forge relationships, or become part of a community.
If you believe that no one is going to understand you, then why try right? Why bother?
But isolation isn’t healthy. Not having community and relationships isn’t healthy. That’s where we find support, where Jesus can work through others on our behalf, where we can connect and learn that we have things in common.
Which means in addition to keeping you isolated, this lie….
2) It stunts your growth.
One of the reasons why Satan loves us to be isolated is because it severely stunts our growth. Isolation means that we’re removed from the very thing that provides healing, love, encouragement, support, prayer, a prophetic word, wisdom, Biblical teaching, etc.
As Christians, including as Jesus empowered maidens, we’re not meant to be standing on the battlefield, fighting the good fight, or facing the Enemy, all on our own. Any war strategist will tell you that that’s suicide. Wars are fought with armies - not sole warriors.
Even if we’re called to blaze a new trail for Jesus, we need that support group. We need to be plugged into a community of other believers that we can trust.
And by the way, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t use wisdom and discernment when it comes to who we open up to. We don’t need to share who we are or what we’ve gone through to everyone or anyone. We need to be wise and discerning. I’m simply saying that we need a safe community, whatever that looks like.
Because otherwise, not only is our growth stunted, but we’re an easier target for Satan to do more damage. If we’re already believing in things that aren’t true, and there’s no one around to see what’s going on in our life and speak into it, then we can be susceptible to other lies that Satan wants us to believe.
We’re Jesus maidens. We want to pursue empowerment in Jesus…but it can’t just be ourselves and Jesus. To grow in Jesus and our empowerment in Him, we need a support system. So even if we are standing on a battlefield alone, we’re covered in so many prayers that it’s as if our community were standing there with us.
This lie keeps you isolated. It severely stunts your growth. And lastly….
3) It keeps you from impacting others.
How? Because it keeps you from using your voice. A few episodes ago, in episode #56, I talked about the importance of your voice and how to go about finding it and owning it.
This is related to that. Because if you want to own your voice and use it to make an impact, then you have to believe that what you have to say matters. That others are waiting to hear it. That it’s going to create an impact whether it’s for 10 people or 10,000 people.
But if you don’t believe that anyone is going to understand what you have to say, or relate to it in any way, then you’re going to opt to be silent. You’re going to opt to not use and cultivate the power of your voice.
Not only does that negatively affect your internal sense of empowerment, it limits your impact in the world. And you are meant to create an impact.
No matter what you’ve gone through, how horrible or tragic it was, or even how insignificant you think it was, Jesus can use it to pour into others.
We are not alone and our story is not too different from everyone else’s. That is a lie of the Enemy. The truth is that Jesus can use anything and everything to bring about hope, healing, and other types of positive impact to those who desperately need it.
The truth is that there are aspects of who we are, and what we’ve lived through, that will resonate and help other people.
Like I said earlier, who I am and what I’ve gone through are the basis for Relate Escape and this podcast. And I don’t think it's a coincidence that as Jesus is guiding me in building this business, He’s also plugging me into the best community I’d ever had. While also lovingly breaking down other types of barriers or blockers that would keep me from experiencing real relationships.
Because Jesus knows that I need community…in general but also as my business grows. I need to be a female warrior with an army at my back. Otherwise, I’ll suffer because I’ll be ill-equipped and vulnerable. And thus my impact on the women God is calling me to serve will suffer.
And God is calling me to make an impact.
Wrap-up
Alright, so where does one go from here? I’ve laid out quite a bit and (as always) I want you to move forward in a positive, hopeful, and proactive way.
First, if you have been believing this lie - in total or in part - I want you to forgive yourself. Right here, right now. You are definitely not the first woman who has fallen into this lie. I held onto it with an iron grip for years, so I am right there with you, sister. I know how easy it is to slip into and hold onto.
But beating yourself up about it - or feeling guilty or shameful - isn’t going to help you. And it’s not what Jesus wants, either. He wants you to be set free from this lie - that’s His goal.
So forgive yourself. Look towards the future - not the past.
Second, remember that everything is a process. Neither myself or Jesus expect you to plug into community, have insane personal growth, and create a large impact overnight.
Processes are about consistent steps. By listening to this episode, you’ve already taken a massive first step today. Choosing to see a lie for what it is, and wanting to change things, is a huge step. Indulge in some chocolates, get a manicure, do something to celebrate this crazy awesome progress.
Moving forward, take other steps. Break it down into something that’s manageable and realistic. For example, have you been keeping some people or relationships at length because of this lie? Maybe it’s time to reach out to one of those folks and initiate some time together. You don’t need to tell your entire story over a burger - just make a move to develop the relationship.
And, finally, and most importantly, take this to Jesus. Or should I say seek His direction on what to tackle next because, if you’ve listened to this episode, I feel like Jesus has brought this breakthrough to you. So work with Him on the follow-up plan. Ask Him to show you what those little steps can be. Ask Him to break the power of this lie once and for all. Ask Him to give you glimpses of how you and your story can be used for the benefit of others.
And let me know what happens! Write a testimonial for the podcast, send me an email, or even a voice memo at the bottom of the Podcast page on my website. Or better yet, join the official Relate Escape community!
Satan never wins, sister! Not in the long run. Jesus will take this lie and create something astoundingly beautiful and impactful from it. And I can’t wait to see what that is! Cheers!