Ever feel pressured to be the stereotypical Christian woman? Whether it’s portrayed by the big “C” church or a group closer to home?
Does fitting into that ideal feel impossible? Yet you yearn to feel accepted and find your place?
Sister, I’ve got great news: Jesus isn’t calling you to conform! He’s calling you to unapologetically be the unique woman that God created you to be!
Join me as I share groundbreaking revelations as to why you can - and should - be yourself…for you and the Kingdom!
Show Notes:
Intro
Christian female stereotypes. Now there’s a hardcore topic, right sister? Talk about going to the heart of things - a lot of things.
I’ve touched on aspects of this in previous episodes, but this is the first time in sixty-eight episodes that I’m really going to dive into this. I honestly can’t believe that it’s taken me this long because it’s such an important and key topic.
One of the things that Jesus is calling me to do is to help women love themselves as God created them to be. That’s why it’s one of the four content pillars for the podcast which are: the character of Jesus; our identity in Jesus; breaking free from things holding us captive; and loving ourselves for who we are.
God wants to set you free, understand your true identity (in Him), and love yourself for the unique woman He created you to be. That’s His mission with this podcast and my business, Relate Escape.
And you know what can interfere with all four of those pillars? Stereotypes. Especially specific ones that have been propagated from the big “C” church…including from the pulpit.
Neither God, Jesus, or Holy Spirit want you to be anything other than the amazing woman that you were created to be. As women, we were not meant to be all alike. Doing the same functions and roles, having the same gifts, staying in the same boxes. It is not God’s intention that we all conform to a single, cookie cutter ideal of what a woman should be. It never has been. Those are messages from the world, not from God.
Are we all called to obey God and follow Jesus and learn what it is to be a Christian? Yes. The problem is certain stereotypes that have arisen and been treated as if they are what God wants…when that’s not true.
1) Firstly, some of these stereotypes are built on inaccurate interpretations of the Bible.
What is one of the most common stereotypes propagated within the big “C” church? The Proverbs 31 woman, right? The interpretation that’s been presented has been that the Proverbs 31 woman is a woman who gets up everyday and accomplishes an insane amount of work. I mean, reading the list of things that’s mentioned is exhausting, let alone thinking about completing them.
But the message that’s been propagated is: “Isn’t she just amazing? Now, that’s the ideal Christian wife! Look at everything she does in a day!” And this stereotype has been put on magnets, T-shirts, and stickers…and marketed (in words and on merchandise) as what every Christian woman should strive for; that we should all conform to this stereotype.
But guess what? When one actually studies the text and its historical context, Proverbs 31 is NOT about the duties of a wife. It’s actually about the responsibility of a husband. I went into this in detail back in episode 59, so I highly recommend checking that out to glean the real story behind Proverbs 31. It will blow your mind, I promise you.
But my point here is that an entire stereotype, which quickly became commonplace and rooted in American Christianity, isn’t true. It’s not Biblically accurate. That stereotype does not exist; it’s not what God wants.
Back in episodes 11 and 12, I talked about the creation story and how God did NOT create Eve to be a “helpmeet” or “helper” as it’s been defined by the big “C” church. Meaning, that woman was created to be subservient to Adam. Again, episodes 11 and 12 go into more detail, and those are two additional episodes that will literally blow your mind. Because when you look at the original word that’s been translated as “helpmeet” or “helper”, there’s a disconnect. There’s also a lot more Biblical context that needs to be taken into account.
My point is this…don’t assume certain stereotypes are legit. Even if they come from the big “C” church. Even if they come from your own church. Because the stereotype or expectations that you might be trying so hard to conform to might not even be Biblical. Might not even be aligned with how God created women and what His calling is for you.
As a Jesus empowered woman, you need to learn how to not simply take things at face value. No matter where it comes from or how prevalent it is. If you’re trying to conform or change and it’s not working, it might not be because it’s Biblical but hard. It might be because it’s not meant to be that way in the first place.
2) Secondly, God did not create women to fill only one role.
In other words, a Biblical stereotype for women does not exist. We are to follow Jesus in the ways that any Christian, male or female, should. But God did not create women to all fulfill one, common role. Those kinds of ideas come from inaccurate Biblical interpretation, patriarchal concepts, etc.
And Scripture supports this. We have Deborah in the Old Testament who was a highly-regarded Judge. Jesus had several women in His entourage who financially helped to support the work He was doing. There’s Jesus’ mother Mary whose calling was to be a mother and wife to Joseph. We have Esther who became queen and, as a result, was able to save her people.
Some women were married, some were single, and all played different roles. Even in a time when women were much more severely limited than we are today.
3) Thirdly, you have a unique calling and purpose - AND you can’t effectively carry that out if you’re trying to be like someone else.
Just like He does with men, God creates each of us ladies with a unique set of skills, talents, looks, etc. We’re not cookie cutter people. We’re all individually unique in numerous ways. God also has a specific calling for you, based on how He created you and the life that you’ve lived (and are living).
If every Christian woman endeavored to be the same - to be busy, silent, unable to lead men, and all the things that we’ve been told that, again, aren’t Biblical, plus things like we have to be married with kids - then we couldn’t fulfill our callings.
Imagine if Mary, mother of Jesus, decided that she didn’t want to be a wife or mother. Or what if Rahab had decided not to be brave and hide the spies that came to her hometown of Jericho? What if the women in Jesus’s group decided not to financially support the work but go off and get married and/or live somewhere with their husbands?
The Bible would read a lot differently, wouldn’t it? Just like every man, every woman has her own calling. One woman’s calling is to raise faith-filled kids; another’s is to speak around the globe to help hurting women. One woman’s calling is to serve parents; another’s is to serve single people. One woman is called to be an artist; another a business owner.
Jesus doesn’t want you to try and conform to a calling that isn’t yours. Follow Him as a Christian, yes, but you’re no less of a Christian for being a woman - or for being the unique woman God created you to be.
Forget stereotypes! Search for Biblical truth regarding women and seek God’s calling for YOU. Despite what stereotypes, or boxes, or ideas are presented to you. (And episodes 11, 12, and 59 are good places to start. Along with episode 64 where I talk about how Jesus treated women - which was in direct contrast to the culture at the time.)
4) Lastly, remember that everyone’s journey and life experiences are different. Therefore, it doesn’t make sense that we would all be the same or play the same role.
God has called me to empower women because that’s my own life’s journey. I’ve walked that walk for over four decades. That’s my area of expertise.
It wouldn’t make sense, then, for me to instead focus on serving Christian mothers. I’m not a mom. I don’t know anything about motherhood. I also can’t cook anything fancy; I never bake; and I am not a foodie. So it also wouldn’t make sense for me to help feed people, or have a business centered around nutrition, etc.
God has given me a very specific calling that aligns with my life experience and the creative gifts, and other talents, that He’s created me to have. Trying to do anything outside of that simply wouldn’t make sense.
In fact, if you’ve heard me talk about this on the show, you know that a few years ago I had tried to build a business as an event planner while having drifted from God. And despite all my hard work - and there was a lot - literally nothing happened. Which was God’s grace, because as He told me later, “Your business is My mission.” Not only is event planning nowhere near my wheelhouse - can you imagine me doing that? - it wasn’t what God was calling me to do.
Sister, not only are you NOT created to conform to a stereotype - which is just someone else’s idea of what you should be - you’re calling may be to serve an underserved group. Or to do something that seems out-of-the-box or crazy, but that’s because God’s been waiting to use the right person - aka you.
Your life experiences, combined with the woman He created you to be, may be exactly what He wants to use to help others. And maybe He wants to call you because you’re the perfect person to help those He wants to help; or Save those He wants to Save.
The other thing that stereotypes do, other than cause us distress when we try to conform to them (which usually means limiting or dampening ourselves), is that it keeps us from our calling. Stereotypes are someone else’s vision for who we should be and what we should do - they’re not God’s vision.
Wrap-up
Sister, seek God’s vision for your life. Seek His calling. Stop worrying about conforming to stereotypes that don’t serve your calling, or your relationship with God, or your identity as a woman.
Don’t choose limitations. Instead, embrace seeking Biblical truth. Embrace the wonderful, gorgeous, powerful, and unique woman that God created you to be. Embrace your freedom as God’s princess to do as He desires - instead of what the world desires.
Forget the stereotypes. Embrace the Sovereign. Cheers!