As I know from personal experience, Valentine’s Day can be a lonely affair.

Our hearts long for that special someone, but God hasn’t yet brought the right man into our lives. Meanwhile, it feels as if everyone else is either dating or married.

So, what can a single lady do? Avoid the day? Drown her sorrows in a tub of ice cream? Sure. OR - she can celebrate, love, and spoil herself! Yes, sister, I am encouraging you to focus on YOU for 4 very key reasons.

What are they? Hit “play” to listen to episode #85 and radically change your Valentine’s Day!

Show Notes:

Intro

Ah, Valentine’s Day. The one day of the year where being single, especially as a woman, can be really difficult to bear. Especially when we’re deeply longing for that special someone - and to love and be loved.
Just like during the holiday season - when so much merchandise, decor, and people are focused on this one theme of connection - it can feel as if everyone else has what we don’t have. Which makes it even more difficult NOT to have that focus and spiral downward mentally and emotionally because of it.
But, what if we took a different path this year for Valentine’s Day? What if we focused on a different type of love and connection instead? And, though it sounds illogical, what if we set aside our romantic dreams for one day in order to do so?
As women - including strong, empowered women - we often long for love, romance, and connection from a male partner. That’s how God made us. But - that’s not the only love and connection that we have. It’s also not the only type of wooing we experience.
So why not celebrate THAT love, romance, and connection instead? Why not focus on what we do have, in abundance, while also celebrating and treating ourselves in the process? Why not love on ourselves? We deserve it!
And here’s why….

1) God Loves You

This may sound utterly simplistic, but the simplest truths are often forgotten or buried under other things. And that’s not a criticism - that’s just an observation of life.
Here’s the deal: the Creator of the universe loves YOU. Can I say that again for full effect? The Creator of the universe loves YOU. Just as you are.
The God who created all things - all the beauty in nature. The cute, cuddly creatures. (And the ones that aren’t so cuddly, but are still unique and special in their own way.) The heavens and the stars. He loves you. So much so that He sent His only Son to die on the cross to restore the ability to have a relationship with you. Being eternally separated from you was not an option.
He also highly values you. In Genesis, we read how God created the Earth - including Adam, who was created in His image - and God felt that something was missing. And then He created woman as His piece de resistance.
How God truly sees and values women (which is not aligned to many things we’re taught in this world, including from churches) is something I’ve talked about a lot on this podcast. So, if you could use some encouragement or truth in this area, I highly recommend browsing previous episodes - such as episodes 11 and 12 (which are part of a two part series that focus on the creation of women); and episode 64 which explains how Jesus broke social convention at the time to treat women equally to men.
I also recommend episode 40 which focuses on creative ideas for surrounding yourself with Jesus’ love on Valentine’s Day.
But regardless of whether you delve deeper into additional episodes or not, the truth remains that God loves you. And that is something that is worth meditating on and celebrating.
You may not have a man’s love to bask in…but you have the love of the Creator of the universe. And that love is unconditional. Unmoving. Unwavering. And all-encompassing.
Which brings me to reason #2….

2) God Wants the Best for You

So, here’s a kind of hard truth, ladies. Sometimes, God’s best for us requires that we wait.
And that can be a hard truth to align ourselves with, right? When we want something so badly, patience can be hard. Really hard. Even when it’s a desire that God has placed in our hearts.
We naturally want that desire to be fulfilled. Plus, we live in a greater culture that focuses on instant gratification. Which doesn’t exactly help the goal of being patient.
It may be very difficult to be in a place where God hasn’t yet introduced that man in your life. But, it might be for good reason.
As humans (again, especially in our culture), we tend to focus on and lament over what we’re currently missing. Meanwhile, we forget that God only gives good gifts. Meaning, He doesn’t give us something if it’s going to be more of a curse than a blessing. If it’s going to overwhelm us more than uplift us. If we (or the other person) aren’t quite ready.
There’s nothing wrong with your longing for a relationship. But, since God wants the best for you, it just might not be time yet. He may be orchestrating events that need to transpire in order for you to meet. He may want to work on some things internally with you both before bringing you together, thereby ensuring a more solid and joyful relationship.
He may want to ensure that you - His daughter and princess that He cares so much about - is immensely blessed. And that you are a testimony to His character and the work He does.
So, even if you’re still waiting on that specific, romantic blessing, use this Valentine's Day to honor and celebrate God’s love and His amazing plans. As well as all the ways He has blessed you and showered you with love recently.
Which brings me to point #3….

3) Give God a Chance to Love on You

God loves you first - before any man that will come into your life. And, as I mentioned a bit ago, He loves you so much that He sent His only Son to die on the cross so He could have a full relationship with you for eternity.
So, maybe, instead of focusing on the absence of a man’s love, you can open yourself to letting God love on you instead. Make Valentine’s Day a day where you love on God, and God on you. You can even pointedly ask Him to shower you with love on that day! See what He does!
Also, feel free to do something that you really love - such as a specific activity - and trust that God will meet you there. He can meet you in whatever you choose to do. Whether that’s taking a hike; listening to a few podcast episodes that focus on His love for you; going for ice cream; the sky’s the limit.
Life gets so busy, and we get focused on so many other things. Why not take a day to love yourself by letting God love on you? By pointedly making space for Him to shower you with surprises and gifts that only He can give? And remind you just how lovely, amazing, and precious you are to Him?
You are an incredible woman, no matter where you are in life. One, because you were made in the image of God (aka the Creator of the universe). Which is a truth - and foundation of your identity - that can never be taken away. And, two, because of who you are and what you do.
Which brings me to my final point….

4) You Deserve to Celebrate Who You Are & Where You Are in Life

Sister, this Valentine’s Day, I am giving you full permission to celebrate YOU. Your accomplishments, your achievements, your growth (especially spiritually), how you’ve been following Jesus, your character and who you are…all the things.
Again, life gets busy, right? Work. Friends. Community. Service. And, as women, we’re often battling this expectation or pull to be extended into a myriad of directions. We’re slaying it - and we deserve to stop and celebrate it! Celebrate ourselves.
What are your recent, amazing wins? How have you grown? How has God shaped you? What breakthrough moments have you had? What qualities do people admire? How has God used those? How have you used those to help others or make a difference?
If you don’t inherently know the answers, use Valentine’s Day to get introspective.
In addition to clarity, celebrating yourself also puts the focus back on YOU. Sometimes, when we’re longing for a relationship, or we’ve been single for a long time, or it feels as if everyone else has someone (or all of the above), we start getting hard on ourselves. Maybe I’m not pretty enough. I’m not interesting enough. I’m too strong and confident; even God must not have a man for me who can handle that. And the list can go on.
When things aren’t happening on our timeline, we can tend to then twist the truth. But celebrating and loving on yourself helps to counteract that. You are totally enough! In fact, you’re downright amazing!
Allow yourself to love yourself - and trust Jesus with the romance. Again, like I said before, this could be a question of timing. God might have the most amazing guy in mind for you…it just isn’t quite time yet. And when God brings that man into your life, don’t you want to dazzle him with who you are? Including your confidence in God and who He created you to be?

Wrap-Up

Even when there is a man in our lives, the person who’s words matter most is God’s. God created us. God loves us unconditionally. He wants the best for us where His gifts are concerned. He made us who we are - with our unique personalities, talents, and callings. He will always know us more intimately - and woo us more successfully - than another human being.
So, this Valentine’s Day, why not bask and revel in that? Why not celebrate that? Why not allow yourself - and the God who loves you - to be the focus rather than a dream or desire that’s yet to be fulfilled?
The outcome may just surprise you…. Cheers!