Abuse is something I know about all too well from personal experience.
Which means I also know that, when we suffer from abuse and are made to feel small and “less than,” we naturally start to lose our voice.
Often this is because it’s too difficult or too dangerous to speak up - due to the abusive situation or the abuser. It’s also common to be made to feel as if we’re unworthy and our voice doesn’t matter.
Not only does this affect us in general - aka our confidence and self-esteem, our ability to interact with the world, our human relationships, etc. - it also affects our relationship with God.
The idea of talking to God can seem hazy, awkward, or intimidating.
Things can be even tricker if you’re also in the place of initially getting to know God.
If you feel unworthy, and have lost your confidence and your voice, and you’re in the process of learning who God is…how, then, do you move forward?
How can you comfortably talk to God and ultimately be truly open, honest, and vulnerable with Him?

Hebrews 4:16: “Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”
Psalm 145:18-19: “The Lord is close to all who call on him, yes, to all who call on him in truth. He grants the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cries for help and rescues them.”
1 Peter 5:7: “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.”
1 Thessalonians 5:17: “Never stop praying.”
Psalm 27:8: “My heart has heard you say, ‘Come and talk with me.’ And my heart responds, ‘Lord, I am coming.’”
Philippians 4:6: “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.”

God clearly wants you to use your voice and talk to Him. In fact, He longs to hear from you.
The world - and/or specific people in it - may have made you feel as if you don’t matter. That your voice - your thoughts, your passions, your experiences - don’t matter.
But that’s not God’s stance.
You matter to Him. And your thoughts, wounds, challenges, who you are…all of that and more matters to Him. Greatly.
So how can you start actively using your voice with God? How can you start approaching Him with confidence?

This may sound obvious. But I’m willing to bet that some of you reading this have been avoiding it.
When we’re uncomfortable with something, the natural tendency is to hide (or run in the other direction). This is especially true when we’re coming from abusive situations where “hiding” is how we survived.
But the reality is that there’s no hiding from God. He sees you and everything that you’re dealing with. Yet because He loves you, He’s not going to force you to talk to Him.
It’s up to you to make that decision.

Just because you make the momentous decision to take a step forward in your relationship with God doesn’t mean you have to fully leap in.
Like any other relationship, it’s okay to do things in steps and, while being proactive, allow things to develop naturally.
For example, start with:

A 5-minute prayer time each day. Or once a week.
Share your needs until you get comfortable enough to open up your heart and be more vulnerable.

Start with something that works for you given where you’re currently at emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
If you would find it helpful to have additional practical tips, check out Episodes 112, 124, and/or 126.

This is an area of growth, so it’s important to periodically gauge your progress and how you’re feeling. Otherwise, your growth will stall.
However, this doesn’t have to be a complex exercise.
You simply want to take some time every month (or two months or quarter) to assess where you are.
It might be helpful to keep a journal or some kind of record, allowing you to note your progress and related thoughts - and also what God has done and how He’s met you through the process.

Ask these questions in relation to logistics, emotions, mental mindsets, what God has done, etc.
Please note that it’s also not just about what’s not working, but the best way to continue making progress.

The last two months of meeting with God twice a week has gone so much better than you expected, and so now you want to meet with Him everyday.
You want to go from a 5-minute prayer time everyday to adding in at least one day a week where you meet with Him for longer.
Your heart has become more comfortable with Him and being in His presence, and so you want to start being a bit more open with Him.

The big idea here is to simply take some regular, dedicated time to think about and assess where you are.